The Chaos In My Life

The chaotic and disturbed mind, that can't be saved...

Chaos in my life

 

It’s too late now…

To save me

From myself,

From the monster that I have become.

 

I can’t seem to live a day in peace.

All this anger boiling within me,

Coursing through my veins.

All these frustrations

Devouring my soul from within.

 

I know that, I, myself

Am responsible for this monster,

That I have become.

But, sometimes I hope,

That I could have that

Someone standing beside me.

That someone, who could save me.

 

And today, as I sand

At the end of the ledge,

Screaming my name at the top of my lungs,

The only voice that replies

Is the echo of my own cries…

The only friend that I have,

Is my own shadow.

Crafted with grief, regret and misery.

 

For the monster I have become today,

I know there is no saving me…

Stripped of my humanity,

I stand before the chaos…

 

Chaos of my own soul,

Destruction of my own poise.

Alone and abandoned.

Drowning in this river of my own regrets.

Brimming with anguish and despair.

Screaming for hope that doesn’t exist…

Author's Note

Please review. :)

Reviews

[Vishuddha]

Do you know the legend of the Flying Dutchman? It is very like your poem except that you have added insanity into the mixture. You write it very well. Very dramatic. I can see your words as a libretto to another version of the opera, with dark and brooding stagecraft and music. A cry, not for a god to come and save us all but, a personal cry of one man seeking salvation for himself. Nicely done.

[Moonlight]

Thanks a lot for those kind words... :) I really appreciate it! However, I am not aware of this legend of the 'Flying Dutchman'.... But I surely will check it out! :)

[Vishuddha]

Doomed to wander the world forever, the Eternal Jew, who laughed at Christ as he carried the cross to Golgotha, could be saved only by the sacrifice of a woman who would love him. Inspiration for great music.

[Moonlight]

Oh I see. Thank you so much for enlightening me. I really appreciate it. :)

[Vishuddha]

Pleasure ...

[Roshan Nair]

Hey shivangi! Loved the piece, you have nicely described how one views apathy in life, and also the realization of ownership to the misery and its making.
Its a great read, paints a dark yet humble picture.awesome!
Cheers! :)

[Moonlight]

Thanks a lot Roshan! I really appreciate it! :)

[Justin Xavier Smith]

Not a huge fan of this one. It's very repetitive and overly dramatic for seemingly no reason. It feels like somebody who is trying to feel devastated and full of anguish but who isn't actually feeling any pain. It's a weird juxtaposition of dark, heavy words and a light tone that makes it seem almost cheery, even though we're reading all of this supposed pain and torture.

The other thing is that the poem doesn't actually go anywhere. It just kind of exists, repeatedly talking about pain and this "monster" that the speaker has become, but I see no evidence that this person is a monster. No evil is done, no crime committed... so in what way is there a monster in this poem?

[Moonlight]

Yeah because it is just this way. I mean, this poem was supposed to be a rant of the poet about how his life is completely wasted and now there is nothing that can be done. It is just simply beyond the point if saving.
Thanks for reviewing.:)

[closed]

Deep brooding introspection. The internal literary journey
This one captivates on the personal level
And the components of pain anguish and hopeless frustration move throughout the piece
Invoking sympathy

-Dream

[Moonlight]

I'm glad that the theme reached out to you! :) Thanks a lot! :)

[CA Anurag Sharma]

Its beautiful.... you depicted the pain so well.... there are many good lines in it and also the gist of this.... sometimes its the only truth..... very good read

[Moonlight]

Thanks a lot! :)