I Kept Asking...

This poem is an effort to convey the feeling of a brother who lost his big sister to the man dominated society in today's times.

I kept asking…

 

She was so strong

So big, so tall

Her smile so gentle

Her eyes so kind

I looked up to her.

She was my big sister.

 

I loved her

And I knew she loved me.

Then why?

I kept asking…

Why did you leave me,

Big sister?

 

Was it because I didn’t share my cake?

Was it because I teased you that day?

Or was it because I didn’t listen to you the other day?

I kept asking…

 

I asked mom,

But she only wept.

I asked dad,

But he won’t even look up … in my eyes.

 

I kept asking…

But only silence answered.

 

It was cruel to hear

The echo of my own questions

It broke my heart to not

Be able to see your kind eyes anymore.

It tore me apart not to

Be able to see you smile for me anymore…

But I endured the pain.

And I kept asking…

Why did you leave me big sister?

 

I knew, somewhere in my head,

I had to live with it…

That I had to learn to live without you.

But for me to accept

That you were gone and

That you were never coming back…

How could I do that?

How could I forget my own big sister?

 

I saw mom and dad grieve for days…

I had to be strong, so I put up a smiling face…

Even when I laughed, I remembered you

Even when I cried, I remembered you

I remembered you when the sun shone bright

I remembered you when the sun came down…

And I kept asking…

Why did you leave me alone big sister..?

 

And I grew up.

But now, I didn’t want to hear the answer

Even when I asked the question…

Because now, a voice in my head,

 haunted me with the answer.

It said…

“It was your fault…

You killed your own sister…

It was because you are a boy

And she was a girl…”

 

 

Author's Note

Another effort ends into a poem composed by me followed by anxiety and nervousness towards the reviews I get. Please do let me know how you feel about this piece of writing. All critics are welcomed too... :)

Reviews

[Daisy]

amazing sense of description u have there.... speechless...

[Moonlight]

Thanks a lot Daisy! That really means a lot! :)

[Lizardo]

Holly Universe, this really kept me at the edge of my sit!
I was reading and felt like a rollercoaster ryde with some grieving and sad parts to a whole new level of darkness!
I love this poem!

[Moonlight]

Thanks a lot Lizardo! :) I really appreciate it!

[anant mody]

woowwww
heart touch feelinggsss:-):-)

[Cool Girl]

I really liked it! So much emotion...

[Moonlight]

thanks a lot!
:)

[Cool Girl]

You're welcome:)

[Bee C.]

This is really emotive, and I love the ending. I do feel that perhaps you could add other cues in the poem to suggest why his sister really killed herself, perhaps another verse where he realises how society must have affected her when he couldn't have known before? But it's just an idea, not at all a criticism. :) The ending lines do leave it open for the reader to think about and that may be more effective than what I just suggested.

Anyway, I really like this, and you easily stirred many emotions for the boy and his sister. Keep it up!

[Moonlight]

Thanks a lot! I'll consider your suggestion and if I can come up with an idea I'll include it in the poem. Thanks again! :)

[Ragini]

oh, wow, this is really good. Loved the ending. Your poems always have really powerful ends and that just adds to the beauty of the poem. Another great piece of work from you! Keep it up! :)

[Moonlight]

Thanks a lot ragini! :)