Numb

What has happened to me? How did I get here? Where did all my joy go? These walls; they protect me. They imprison me too! I am lost. Nobody can help me. Nobody knows to help me. Nobody knows I am here.

I am crying. My tears are meaningless now. They do not bring me any comfort. There is no one here to console me. I am alone. My mind is my only companion.

I am tired. Tired of being tired. But I don’t know if I am more tired than I am afraid. Afraid of facing whatever is beyond these walls.

I hear someone. She has been trying to get in. How did she even find me? What does she want? I have nothing to offer. I am worthless. I don't need to remind me; that's what all your attempts at making me feel like I am worth anything will do. So go like all the others who have tried before you.

She is persistent. She is still here. I still hear her. Although I can tell she isn't as strong as she was. Her voice is getting weaker. I am sorry. I can't help you. I wish I could do more. But we are really better off on our own. No complications for either of us. I am too broken. Too damaged. I do not want to be repaired. I have tried. I only got worse. So I have accepted my life. One that will be devoid of happiness. One where I live by the day. Safe within my walls.

She thinks she loves me. I can only laugh. There is nothing to love. I am nothing. She can't love nothing. Cause nothing does not exist. I do not exist.

Love is a joke. Love is the reason why I am here. The very thing that was supposed to give me life has sucked out the very last drop of mine. I will save her all the trouble of having to build her own walls. Soon she would walk away like the others before her. Because she will know that love is one thing only. A lie.

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

love your poem
I just wrote a very similar poem called little room
ilove your work
keep writing