What You Do To Me

Dark fiction poetry... The words just poured out of me.

The touch that drove me out

The pain that started to cloud

The hate that started to flow

The blood that I have shed,

Just trying to stay ahead

You come around just to watch,

Hoping to watch me self-destruct

Beaten from  your twisted game

Congratulations, you've finally  won

Look at what you've done to me.

 

Reviews

[Rose Tyler]

Shoort but to the point. Powerful words and a lot of emotion. Keep it up xx

[Nina Kari]

wow, it was shurt but still packed a punch, can really feel the pain

[Ruth]

A dark piece:) Concise and hard hitting love, a great poem!
The hurt is blunt here, wonderfully done!
xx

[Poetry Girl]

it had a great flow to it and it was easy to just read right through but it was pretty downing. its good that you were able to express yourself though. good job

[Matthew Kult]

Flowed well. You can feel the emotion. I don't agree with Kristin, I don't think you want to introduce a rhyme in a freestyle poem. I would look at the first four lines. You had a common theme that you seemed to have abandoned half way through. However this is a good read.
Well done.

[SimplyDisastrous]

I really liked this, but I think the last two sentences should say
"Congratulations, you've finally won
Look at what you've done".

It just sounds better to me. But you did a good job.

[chaotic katie]

a beautiful peice fantastic job

[(JR) Joshua Hernandez]

very nice, in a sad kinda way, but very short and to the point, nice job

[Poetic Beauty]

this is done in a nice but vague way. The mystery as to exactly what caused the pain is done quite well and the last line is done really well tying the whole poem up.

[Cynthia]

That's a nice great poem!!