When It Comes

Its dark...

You never had a chance

A wasted romance

Killing all your time away

You think everything 

Will just obey

But you don't know

Is that your heart and soul

Have long since deteriorated away

Everything you once had 

Has all gone away

While you were sleeping

It rose to your bed 

And took your breath away

Never to return again

Only if you had seen what you have become

Blood, I taste it in my mouth

Its sweet but bitter with rage

It washes away my sins 

The darkness in told 

In to what I behold.

Author's Note

Please review, Its dark. I love to hear your thoughts about it. :)

Reviews

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I felt like a ghost had come in the night and stolen away a poor person's
soul. Scary but wonderful. It was intense and drew fear from reality.

[the-One-with-the-Darkne..]

Very good. I like it.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good tale. Sometime things can disappear and can't come back. I like the movement and the story. I believe best to cultivate love or it may go away. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Angel Veselinov]

Really nice and great poem :) Loved the flow and rhymes it can be used as a song as well :) Thanks for sharing :)

[Ashley]

i like the change in the last stanza and the whole poem flows really well. the meaning is clear and images are easily created in the mind

[Jonathan De Elvira]

It's dark all right...

The feelings of inner vengeance somehow being portrayed here...
I get a bit unease...way better than my writings though...
keep up the good work..:)

[.]

You wrote an emotional fuelled piece, I think you kept the reader interested and I read a couple of times, although open to interpretation in my eyes..I like that about this read. well done

[ShaneBerry]

WOW! veery awesome work here Sarah! dark and gritty! and the rhyme scheme was kickass!