When It Comes

Its dark...

You never had a chance

A wasted romance

Killing all your time away

You think everything 

Will just obey

But you don't know

Is that your heart and soul

Have long since deteriorated away

Everything you once had 

Has all gone away

While you were sleeping

It rose to your bed 

And took your breath away

Never to return again

Only if you had seen what you have become

Blood, I taste it in my mouth

Its sweet but bitter with rage

It washes away my sins 

The darkness in told 

In to what I behold.

Author's Note

Please review, Its dark. I love to hear your thoughts about it. :)

Reviews

[Rose Tyler]

Death will take you when you least expect it, and the taste of blood will forever be left.
Great write

[Dr.Who.LOVER]

I agree with PoppySilver. It was really powerful and deep I love it


-VampireChick

[Ruth]

Bittersweet feeling!
This may be dark but it is really good love:)Your choice of words can only make this more powerful!
xx

[Cristal Bridges]

It is dark but lovely none the less. I love darker poetry and horror poetry. It just seems to make you think a lot more than other poetry does for some reason. Someone requested I read this and it's a very great write. Keep it up.

[little lily Bride of Ch..]

very dark and nice Imagination here

[Senseless whatever]

Good write. Cryptic and a little scary. Good pattern and flow make this an easy and pleasant read.

[creativekat]

...IT IS DARK....and delightful : )

[Molafvt]

Again, this is an honest exploration of dark emotions, shattered dreams and disillusionment. It is an honest assessment of self doubt, rejection, ect....
I had a little problem with the last 2 lines in the last stanza..."The darkness (in) told
(In to) what I behold."
Typos? There are also a couple lines where you drop out useful words, like...."But you don't know
Is that your heart and soul" Shouldn't it be, But (what) you don't know?
Anyway, over-all, I loved watching you sink into self redemption and I could taste the blood in your mouth. This is a chilling tale of the acknowledgment and acceptance of defeat. Surely a bloody mess.

[KaySea]

great job with this one