Termites: Gnawing Pockets !!!

I saw this lady in a metro train with a baby collapsed in her arms and the myriad of people passing by her, with not a single kind heart taking a single step towards her to offer her help.... We, the supposed "Samaritans"!! Huh!

 

 

 

 

 

 

I saw her from a distance, perched on the footpath,

Hardly draped into anything

Shreds of clothes hanging loose on her body

Disheveled hair, strands flying away revealing the receding hairline

Heavy eyelids burdened with the cruelties of life

Blues of eyes colorless with harshness

Rolling drops acknowledging the inadvertent acceptance

Parched lips parted in a futile prayer

The soul pleading silently for the life of the inanimate body of the child, laid in front of her

Living or dead, hard to make out

Not older than ten years

An uncorked empty bottle of medicine tethered to the uncontrollable wind

Some bread crumbs littered around his body

A flock of crows eyeing at the sumptuous food

While dogs licking it clean taking breaks only to sniff at the almost lifeless body

An old brass plate sparsely filled with some dried fallen leaves

No nickel shines from the plate

No one from the passing crowd seems to have even noticed the shattered lady awaiting the end of her child’s life

As I come closer I find her body paralyzed with pain

I give her a sympathetic look and move on with the crowd

Just like everyone else, disappearing from the pitiful beckoning sight

Ignoring, if any urges to help, spare two words of kindness or stroking the cold bodies breathing life

“I can’t let such things gnaw at my pocket and neither do I have the time for something so unimportant, after all it does not help me get a new business deal or does it!”

 I just move on like everyone else.

 

 

Reviews

[The Outlaws' Song]

This is absolutely brilliant and heart-breaking!!! I've been in this situation many times in my life..Romania, my country, is known all over the world for its strays and beggars!! Many of us pass them by, ignoring, not even noticing they are there...dirty, hungry, helpless, dead!!! Many of us think they're just pretending!!!! We pass them by regardless to their fate..without any regrets or second thoughts. Sometimes, but very rarely, someone would give them money or ask them if they're okay...but these people, probably used to our ignorance, are savage, they have probably forgotten how to receive someone else's help.
Even scientific theories have proven that the more people there are around a stranger in need of help the less likely he/she will receive actual help. You know why??? Because each person will think the same "Why should i help him. There are so many people around...someone else should do it"...hilarious and cruel in the same time.

Your poem is a great lesson about how selfish and self-centered we are...and we don't even know about it.
We pass the helpless by....the regrets pass us by ...so fast!!!!

I loved your creation and i will definitely save it in my library!!! Awesome work!!!!!
Many many kudos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[deadlife]

It's a wound in the soul..painful..very painful..but its the truth And this makes it more painful.
Naked. This is what we've become. This is what we should never be, but now we are.
I'm feeling numb..you've done it. It's your honesty.
But sometimes it seems pointless to accept that we were wrong..When we did things knowingly.
An honest write.
I love it.
Bless you.
~rupam

[Angel's Lady]

I just move on like everyone else.

And yet, not like everyone, for you have shared her story, written your passion for such on this 'clean' white 'paper', and cleansed your soul for us all to see. A great write here, Shinjini, very worthy and very nicely done. Thank you for doing your part, raising public awareness, and sharing your poignant so vividly. Good job, dear friend.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Sad and heartbreaking. Beautifully penned. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[.mate.feed.kill.repeat.]

(One Week contest)

I was interested to begin with, but you lost me about half way through. You did have vivid imagery, but this piece didn't have much as far as rhythm and flow are concerned. You did tell a heart-breaking story, but that's all there was to this. As a suggestion, I'd try to mix it up a bit. You constructed each line/sentence in basically the same manner. It's hard to establish a rhythm with a piece where everything moves in the same way, poetically speaking.

On the other hand, you did have a wonderful sense of description. Your descriptions created simply stunning imagery in this piece. Your emotions also corresponded well with your imagery. I've never read anything on this subject, either; very unique indeed.

Your conclusion was perfect for this piece. You didn't leave me hanging, waiting for something else to happen; you didn't leave a question in my mind as to what comes next.

You are a strong writer. Keep it up.

[Damien Dsoul]

The title is sharp and cruel with dark witticism, and yet the poem in itself does tell a very delicate, yet poignant piece of tale. The very likes that's rapt to delve into the dark irony of humanity. The well-etched portrait of the lady with the dead child in her arms ... the narrator's unkindly response ...

Revolting, and yet impressive is the message that's never said.

[Kevin Andros]

THis is a very true situation that you have reflected from your wonderful lines of this cruel, real world. Most of the people passing the woman in the poem would have have the same thoughts as you did, why doesn't anyone help that poor woman? And yet, we end up doing nothing what-so-ever and move along with the crowd. I've have these kind of incidents happening to me in my life sometimes. Earlier, I just used to think that the world is cruel and no one people is even helping them, but I used to move along the crowd just like you did. But the thought does not separate us from the cruel world, does it? The thought does not counts here. It will be the action that will count. I have seen daily wages worker carrying heavy loads on their heads and I can tell you that they don't have time of their lives doing that. They do that because they have to earn a living and have to live on in this cruel world. I have helped them up when the had fallen down, I have picked up their "Bira" (that's what they carry on their head to support the heavy load on top of it) and returned it on their head and turning away. The feeling after you do this is completely inexplainable in words. Or at least, I can't. Coz I'm not a wonderful poet as you are. He heh!

This was a great poem, wonderfully done and explained. I liked this poem a lot. Keep writing. ~KA~

[Jet Lag]

heartbreakingly beautiful. i have no words to add to the reviews before mine. wonderful.

[[untitled]]

This is extremely well done. I do not feel however as another does that the use of the "objective correlative would have been effective. I do believe that there lies within each of use an innate compassion for someone, some group, something...that will awaken within each and call out. This compassion will not be for all for that is an impossibility but I do hope that you listen when you hear that call. We each must listen and respond.

[Robert Luna]

Your descriptions really drove this into my heart. Your words lay heavily upon my already crippled heart. I have seen this scene first hand and have watched the world pass by a person that was truly in need. People become to overwhelmed with their everyday life to spare the time to allow such images to truly sink into their minds. Because if they did they would not be able to stop the tears as they knew life could be this cruel. We are but people in a world to busy consumed by the commercialism of everything around us.
I would have stopped, I have stopped, I feel the pain of such people my heart aches with them. I give all I can to those whom are truly in need. One of the problems we face is that the greed nature of some who try to feed upon the giving nature of others and causing others to stop wanting to help because the just don't know if they can trust that they are helping someone. I love that you took a piece of the ugliness of the world and turned it into a piece of beauty. Maybe your words will help someone else open their eyes just in time to save a life.

Great Job!!!!!!

[Phil Sanders]

Incredibly powerful .. superbly written... so poignant ......