Suspended somewhere

 

I belong to nowhere, no-one,

Suspended somewhere is my existence in dark,

Feel no gravity of destiny.

 

Author's Note

Well i had tried to write a haiku...but perhaps no-one liked it since it hardly had a structure similar to haiku so i am changing it genre to poetry.

Reviews

[Damien Dsoul]

I'm never the sort who enjoys rating or grading poems. I'm more a reader than a critic. Your poem is fascinating, almost like watching a suspended animation: the tone is sombre and forlone with no sense of equivocation, the imagery is dark and sure is enticing ... enchanting.

[Onatah]

I love this poem! Makes me feel like I'm having an out of body experience! It makes me feel like I'm in touch with my soul.

[Lauren Xena Campbell]

I still love this! Bravo!

[Lauren Xena Campbell]

We've all felt like this I'm sure. Non existent to societies reality. When we speak and no one hears our words, when we are at out most beautiful and no one sees us; and even when people hurt us and do not realise. Like ghosts of sunlight.

I found this most pleasant to read for you have penned this well. I shan't say that you have captured so much in so few words because you know you have, you wrote it, but this haiku is, in my eyes a masterpiece and I adored the words you use. But one thing I really enjoyed was the last line, "Feel no gravity of destiny". It made me thing about the depth of these words. If no one sees, hears or acknowledges you then does your destiny of dreams still hold or is it forfeited into a destiny of darkness, as you so rightly painted. Or may be it is a liberty and blessing mixed with a curse, to "feel no gravity of destiny", to have no weight of responsibility. If no one sees you they do not expect things from you, therefore your time is yours and you are free from the chores of life. After all this is what every individual worker wants after the trails of their weekly hardships-the weekend. The chance to be able to do nothing, to "feel no gravity of destiny".

I warned you your haiku made me think :-) I found it very enlightening and thought it beautifully penned. I comment you for this, and thank you, I really loved reading it. And I also like the picture; it ties in well with the subject of your creativity. Magnificent!

[Bubo]

This made me sad, the imagary was very good and a sense of lonliness came over me.

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

A wonderful write and great take on a Haiku. I loved the picture..:)

[BrightEyes]

I am not much for writing structured poetry myself - I don't follow rules very well lol. For three simple lines I think this says a lot - I can feel the sense of not belonging anywhere - adrift in the world all alone, left to fend for oneself. nicely done.

laura

[Kara Emily Krantz]

the first line is a fantastic choice of words. it really caught me. and the play with words, making their meaning slightly different to the reader, is great :)

[Kyle A. Smith]

i like how short this is.
its intresting to say the least

[E. M. Murren]

This is a lovely meditation. I am not one for structure. I read for content. I liked this a lot. Delicately expressed.

[Just Manoosh]

Does it really matter what style it is being called?........ a Haiku, a U2, a Me 2......... ignoring rules and boxes this piece is quiet stunning, every reader can feel the desolation behind your words,this piece should be left as it is. What style shall we call it?

Mx