Perhaps you loved me anyway

I got a quote which said �Just because someone doesn�t love you the way you want them to, it doesn�t mean that they don�t love you with all they have� and as I read this I felt a spur to write...

 

I wanted you to look at me with drooling eyes,

When I dressed up for you.

But you preferred not looking at me at all,

You never noticed my new dress,

You never noticed those dangling earrings,

You never said “You look beautiful!”.

But perhaps you loved me anyway.

 

I wanted you to sit beside me and whisper in my ears,

When I saw other couples immersed in each-other.

But you always preferred a place not beside me,

May be you had something more important

In mind than to sit beside me,

May be you dint have anything to whisper,

Mostly I sat alone, wishing.

But perhaps you loved me anyway.

 

I wanted you to wait for me on the breakfast table,

And have your first bite with me.

But you always left before I could reach the table,

May be you have some undone work at office,

Or may be an important meeting with the CEO,

I never had my breakfast so.

But perhaps you loved me anyway.

 

Sometimes I wanted you to surprise me,

Take me out to dinner or a late night movie without being asked for.

But you were always caught up in something to ever plan a surprise,

I waited to feel special and important in your life,

I waited to celebrate so called important dates in our lives,

And waited for a surprise.

You never made an effort.

But perhaps you loved me anyway.

                                

I wanted you to curl up around me,

Like a quilt on those chilly nights,

Snuggle beside me and make me warm.

But you preferred sleeping on the corner of the bed,

With your body turned towards the wall,

And the bolster clutched between your legs.

But perhaps you loved me anyway.

 

                   

Author's Note

I haven't worked on the language as such and didn't do proof reading as well, wrote it as it came to my mind.

Reviews

[Candle in the wind]

That one had caught my fancy too among those quotes you had sent and that kind of consolation is so essential at times and this truly is a spontaneous overflow of "unpremeditated thought".I can feel it on my pulse.
Just a few suggestions:
"When I saw other couples indulged in themselves"
Perhaps you meant engrossed.
"I never had me breakfast so"
Perhaps it should be my break fast

It quite evidently was a strong spur that you felt.
"May be you dint have anything to whisper"
This line brings such a sense of desolation.

[Colleen C Dunphy]

Very sad.
Lovely.
Thank you for sharing.

[bluessadmood]

this is typical of a woman really in love ,she will even make excuses for him,she will even fool herself that he is all hers ,yes woman in love will do everything to hold on to that dream ,women so romantic and dreamy as they are they will go all the way to believe in something she set up herself for ,and its great and i admire her for it ,this is really so nice i like it a lot ,very good job

[Angel's Lady]

I remember the first time I read this...the mirror you had held to my face. I read it again now, with new eyes, with a fresh look, and, this time, it doesn't make me cry, for I have moved on with my life. This is still a very beautiful and very poignantly written piece of art. You have captured a feeling, a moment, a glance, the very soul of a woman in love, who someone who might love her, who perhaps loves her, who will probably never love her the way she needs to be loved.

Great write. Very nicely done. I am putting this in my Favorites. Thank you for writing it.

[Oz in Exile]

The language of this piece is fine actually. And as far as the spelling, punctuation, etc. that's just mechanics. What upsets me personally is the sentiment. I'm shocked and amazed that so many of the other readers who left comments aren't as infuriated as I am. This isn't an attack on the poet or the work, but the idea rather that just because we can't have everything we want in love, that we should be willing to settle for nothing. There is in fact no relationship between the characters in this poem - there's longing on the side of the narrator and oblivion on the side of the 'beloved'. I think it does actually portray, with accuracy, the state of a lot of relationships in the world...and that's all part of the tragedy. So, 'Floating on the feathers of a dandelion' I have to applaud you. You've written something that has touched me deeply and shown me exactly the kind of relationship I would *never* want to be in (but was in danger of accepting, just recently too). Bravo...in all sincerity...well done.

[Belinda Rice]

i really like this this is how i felt when i was with my exhusband waiting for the day for him to care and be there to love me and honor me yet just to love me...this poem means to me that your hurting from feeling like hes not there to care what is he doing with his time when your in need for affection? you wanting tender hugs and kiss during the day and loving arms at night to feel like you are care for and being noticed by who you thought that loves you..this is really great i am glad i seen this and i got the chance to read this ,,,very great write......i hope to read some more some day but i always have alot of request but if you ever want to send me a request to read just do it and i will....belinda

[Anne Martin]

I didn't have a chance to go back and read all the other reviews, but I have one mechanical comment:

"May be you have some undone work at office,"

It should be unfinished, not undone.

Concerning the content, yes, men can be like that. You never know what is going on in their feeble minds. They don't think the same way we do. Some are suitable for re-training, however. Good write.

[Brianna Brie]

This is the kind of read that makes one think twice about neglecting a relationship. In the end, I full well expected the couple to split up. Fantastic write!

[Jet Lag]

i think everyone before me caught the typos. love the repeating line. nice work!

[Raef C. Boylan]

This makes us feel quite distressed for the narrator, and also provokes thought regarding whether the definition of love is fixed or not. Good description, wistful kind of tone and good use of repetition to emphasise the patterns in the relationship.

I know you said you haven't proof-read this, so just a few queries in case you wanted typos spotted:

"But you were always [too?] caught up in something to ever plan a surprise"

"May be you dint have anything to whisper" [not sure if "dint" should be 'didn't', or whether this poem should be read as if the narrator is speaking in their own dialect?]

"May be" [this is often one word, but maybe we're supposed to read the lines as "[it} may be", kind of gives the piece a traditional feel.

Overall, good work.
Thanks for posting this.

[Serendipity]

This is lovely.

"But perhaps you loved me anyway." In your own way I guess, you've loved me. Wishing, hoping, longing for you to love me in my way. I only wish you would love me, "with drooling eyes ... sit beside me ... whisper in my ears ... wait for me ... surprise me ... curl up around me," the way I love you.