Frail and Old

 

 

Clasping with frail fingers,

An old silver hand-mirror,

The sides of the glass blurred with jaded green,

With beautifully sculpted angels perched on the rim,

Angels still so young and so adorable,

They make this senile body jealous.

 

Timidly do I bring the reflection closer,

Scared to look at time’s diabolic creativity,

Lines, that have taken ages to emerge so conspicuously,

 

I stare at the rotten face in the old mirror and scrutinize,

 

The layers of foundation on the sagging face

To hide the lines of age.

 

Strokes of rouge on the skin,

Hanging loose on the cheek bones.

 

The red lipstick on the chapped pale blue lips.

 

Mascara on the almost invisible lashes.

 

Eye shadow on the lid to conceal the thin green lines.

 

Perfectly combed little remains guarded by my pretty blue hat.

 

 

 

I stare and I wonder

 

“Would you have loved me the same?”

 

I really don’t know!!

 

“But I still crave for you the same.”

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Damien Dsoul]

I am reading this poem for the second time, and the image that keeps recuring to me is that of Gary Oldman's character in 'Bram Stoker's Dracula'. Your poem so captures the weigt and feel of someone who's reviewing him/herself through the existential and shadowy mist of time. It is very nostalgic, and the benign attention to detail is very resorceful. And those last spoken words ... don't they seem more scary to you? They sure do to me. Brrr...

[Legion]

Well, you did a good job of it. :)

If you get a chance (and haven't already) check out my very short story "The Man That Ruined My Life".

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Well done, you seem to have really grasped what an older woman might fear to see in her image...nice description. Thanks for sharing.
Light,
Siddartha

[H. A. M.]

Hmmm! This was kinda sad for me to read. It's like she's going thru the motions hopelessly to hang on to youth. It's a good read with some vivid imagry. I still feel the desperation from the woman with those last lines.
Very nice indeed!

[Fran Marie]

A great aging character study,even a trick/magic mirror cannot hold back the forces of time~
Thanks for sharing this well penned piece~Fran Marie

[George Love]

The imagery used here is nearly flawless, very vivid and makes the reader see what you see in your mind's eye. Well written even to the point of the form reading the way an older woman in her twilight years talks. Good work

[A.J. Smith]

Wow, this is a wonderfully conceived and executed poem. What an interesting perspective to take. You create such powerful empathy through your precise use of words and crafty presentation. Perhaps this is my favorite part: "...Timidly do I bring the reflection closer, Scared to look at time's diabolic creativity, Lines, that have taken ages to emerge so conspicuously,..." Wow, that is some killer writing!

[An Ordinary Woman]

My sweet precious grandma had one of those mirrors. lol

I read the other reviews and agree to some extent, my thoughts were that of feeling pity for her. I see women like every now and then and wow you nail the description with a solid impact.

Great writing!!

[Raef C. Boylan]

I liked this. You made good use of both simple and complex language to get your point across, and I liked how it somehow seemed more real by not being overly-structured...it's like slowed-down thoughts.
You're not afraid to delve into detail, and I applaud that; again, you've put serious effort into speaking from the perspective other than your own, and done a great job of it.

"With beautifully sculpted angels perched on the rim,
Angels still so young and so adorable," - I suggest a semi colon after rim instead of the comma ( ; )

"I really don't know!!" - the double exclamation marks make this seem amatuer when it really isn't; i suggest just one...or three if you feel that this is a key line and that she really would be exclaiming wildly, rather than admitting to not knowing [a full stop would actually have more impact, but it's not up to me to mess with your work, so my apologies].

Overall, a really great piece.
Thanks for posting and sharing this with me.

[Just Manoosh]

So beautifully done honey, the imagery here was completely tantalising. I started off with "I have an old mirror like that", to ending with "age doesn't change a thing does it?". This piece is lovely, it whispers to you. Mx