Frail and Old

 

 

Clasping with frail fingers,

An old silver hand-mirror,

The sides of the glass blurred with jaded green,

With beautifully sculpted angels perched on the rim,

Angels still so young and so adorable,

They make this senile body jealous.

 

Timidly do I bring the reflection closer,

Scared to look at time’s diabolic creativity,

Lines, that have taken ages to emerge so conspicuously,

 

I stare at the rotten face in the old mirror and scrutinize,

 

The layers of foundation on the sagging face

To hide the lines of age.

 

Strokes of rouge on the skin,

Hanging loose on the cheek bones.

 

The red lipstick on the chapped pale blue lips.

 

Mascara on the almost invisible lashes.

 

Eye shadow on the lid to conceal the thin green lines.

 

Perfectly combed little remains guarded by my pretty blue hat.

 

 

 

I stare and I wonder

 

“Would you have loved me the same?”

 

I really don’t know!!

 

“But I still crave for you the same.”

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Damien Dsoul]

I am reading this poem for the second time, and the image that keeps recuring to me is that of Gary Oldman's character in 'Bram Stoker's Dracula'. Your poem so captures the weigt and feel of someone who's reviewing him/herself through the existential and shadowy mist of time. It is very nostalgic, and the benign attention to detail is very resorceful. And those last spoken words ... don't they seem more scary to you? They sure do to me. Brrr...

[Greg Skura]

Beautiful! Very vivid imagery brought to light through your words! The fine art of growing old! Thank You for sharing!

[E. M. Murren]

This is a lonely piece of great depth. Such sadness I feel upon reading it. You expressed beautifully the image that you wanted to express. Really fine work.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

lovely. lovely job.

you really captured those thoughts, that perhaps we have had in passing, but you put them under a microscope and forced us to focus on them.

"Scared to look at time's diabolic creativity,"

nice line there :)

really well set up, and well done. The detail is great, especially "to hide the green lines" - something I never would have thought to think of, or notice.

Great write. Great read. :)

hugs

[Blackbirdsong]

I see you are attempting to write from the point of view of an older person, and I say that because it doesn't ring completely true. I doubt someone would call their appearance "rotten" or call themselves "senile," since a senile person would be unaware of their senility. The wording is correct, but there is a coldness here to age and while someone who is older might not be happy to be older, there would be some joys in memory or something and while they might regret being wrinkled, they most likely wouldn't describe themselves as you have here. This is a well written poem, but it is ultimately not authentic to how an older person would view themselves. Hopefully you don't view this review as harsh or hurtful, that wasn't my intent at all. I think you are a good writer but I also believe you are writing from the pov of an outsider looking in and than insider looking out.

[Gary H]

I think this is interesting to read as so many people look into the minds of the old and miss out on appearance and what they think of themselves. Also brings to our attention how we do get more fragile as we grow old, beauty fading into nothing only alive in our actions. This felt a very lonely poem.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

A good imagination...and a piece with an awesome flow..
I loved the ending part a lot...
"I stare and I wonder
"Would you have loved me the same?"
I really don't know!!
"But I still crave for you the same."
Overall..its an awesome read!
:)

[Genie]

Good imagining! I think you've given voice to what many of us wonder as we age, even as we hope others will see beneath the effects of gravity and life to the young person still beneath.

Thanks for sharing!

[Jet Lag]

reminds me of the old lady looking into the mirror at the start of the titantic movie. she saw both the former and the present. isn't it cool how everyone who is "old" was once "young?" good theme.

[Vanessa Whiteley]

You have some really interesting juxtapostions to suggest youth and age like the angels and the 'red lipstick on the chapped pale blue lips' but I think the 'do' seems unnecessary in the following line 'Timidly do I bring the reflection closer',

[Daisy]

Oh this made me feel so sad at the thought of a old person looking and thinking they are no longer the same as they once were. I think its so sad that old people seem to shrink as they get older and skin doesn't seem to fit on bones so well. A horrifying thought that this will happen to us all eventually.