Goddess Not I am

Its about me.......

 

 

I am what I would have wanted to be,

I am the aspiration of myself.

 

I am a butterfly when I want to tickle the flowers,

I am a bird when I want to compete with the flecks of cotton overlapping the sky,

I am the river when I want to mock the stand-still mountains,

I am the sand when I want the turbulent sea to rest on my shoulders,

I am the rain when I want to splash in the puddles,

I am the rainbow when I want to paint the bland sky,

I am a mother when I want to love selflessly,

And I am me when I want to be free.

That’s what I am,

Everything.

Because I am blessed to be,

To be a poet.

And imagine the world of me.

I AM FREE & UNBOUND.

 

 

Reviews

[A.J. Smith]

This is absolutely wonderful...what an amazing piece of writing! First of all, your keen intellect and creative mind (both qualities I am drawn to in a writer) are clearly demonstrated. Secondly, I love your structure and flow. Thirdly, you paint such fantastic images with your precise use of language and words.
Perhaps the only change I would suggest would be to consider dropping the word "at" from this wonderful line: "I am the river when I want to mock at the stand-still mountains." I look forward to reading all of your future work. Thank you for asking me to read and comment on your work. Please send more!

[Ruby Moon]

^-^
i dont think i have anything that i want to add or subtract from your piece
its lovely and it is about you...so you are as lovely if not lovelier (is there such a word?)
lol...anyway...this is a nice little piece and it is creative and uplifting (i belief is the word someone used...cant think of any other word more befitting this piece)
thanks for sharing

[Tania Leigh]

A very nice poem here....your friend was right in urging you to post it :-)

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

oh i love this... it is great... i love how you describe yourself... fantastic!!!

[Tara]

I think this write would flow better if you lost the "when i want"...the repetition of this distracted me...I think if you trimmed this a bit, it would have more impact. For example: "I am a butterfly/ tickling petals of violet
I am a bird, competing with flecks of cotton painting the sky. I am the river, mocking silent, still mountains...you get the drift...just my opinion..hope it was helpful.

[Lydia Shutter]

An uplifting and serene write. Beautiful introspection. Thank you for sharing so much about yourself. Lydia

[R J Askew]

I like the joy running through this very positive and enjoyable wee poem. These are my favourite lines...

I am the river when I want to mock the stand-still mountains,
I am the sand when I want the turbulent sea to rest on my shoulders,

And I also like the rainbow line very much. I think the mother line also deserves a mention in despatches as mother child love is the best there is, total and unconditional.

[Damien Dsoul]

Joyfully sounding music, which speaks so well of naturalistic and selfless love. The theme is boundless and beautiful.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

A lovely contemplation of the self, vividly painted like a wonderful impressionistic landscape. Great write. Thank you for sharing.
Light,
Siddartha

[BrightEyes]

absolutely beautiful here - becoming what you need at any given time in your life. I think our vivid imaginations are a writers' most cherished gift. Allowing us to transcend our physical world and go anywhere, be anyone. All we need do is think it, then share it with our writing. Nice to meet you, my friend.

laura

[Natalie C]

I am what I would have wanted to be,
I am the aspiration of myself.

Brilliant! Not everyone can actually say that about themselves, that is why this piece is so great. You are who you are and you are happy with it! Loved your imagery, you just seemed to paint a beautiful picture in my mind with all your vivid descriptions...

Really enjoyed this piece