Blue Friend

 

I am seven,

Have a blue friend, Sky.

Its blue, bluer than my new dress.

 

I stare at the blue,

And it ogles back.

Surprised at my miniscule existence,

Ostensible innocence,

And, impregnable ability to pose questions.

But surprises me by its silence.

Yet we are the best friends !

 

I accompany it,

And it accompanies me even to the narrowest lanes.

Never leaves me !

 

We play hide and seek,

I hide and it seeks me.

Sometimes, not with an earnest attempt to find me,

So we fight.

And I go and sit at the highest peak,

Amidst small green shrubs,

That’s our secret meeting place,

Annoyed me, wait for an apology,

Fake egoist !

 

I hit it with small pebbles, I collected on my way.

And sulk away.

Sky and I don’t speak for hours.

 

“I’m going back home.’

 

And sky opposes, thunders hard,

Black clouds surround me to not let me go.

 

“I’m not listening.”

 

And a pure cold drop of water touches my protruded lip,

Another on my cheek,

And the tip on my little nose.

 

Tricking me in the best way.

I stare up, chuckle, and it rains harder.

Drench me.

 

“Okaaaaay, I forgive !”

 

I smile and wink.

Turn back humming,

Make way through the narrow paths,

Made by me treading up and down to my friend.

Splash on the puddles of water.

Try to catch every drop in my tiny palms curved into a bowl.

Amazed to watch the droplet on the leaf,

Slithering to another leaf,

And then to another,

Making a zigzag way.

 

I go a little down; the path is overwhelmed by rains,

I take off my slipper,

Let it go ahead, float with tiny waves.

And I wade through,

My frock pumped up to a balloon.

 

I am ecstatic!

I stare up,

Open my mouth, swallow some rain,

A gesture to forgive my blue friend

Spattering playfully, Making way back to home !

 

 

 

Reviews

[Bubo]

Genius..........the thoughts, innocence, imagary
and the uplifting feel to the whole theme.........I loved this,
so many lines that I adored and would end up copying and
pasting the whole piece!

Surprised at my miniscule existence
Ostensible innocence
And, impregnable ability to pose questions.
But surprises me by its silence.

Such imagination and so that of a child.

�I�m going back home.�

And sky opposes, thunders hard,
Black clouds surround me to not let me go.

�I�m not listening.�

And a pure cold drop of water touches my protruded lip,
Another on my cheek,
And the tip of my little nose.

You forget the sky for a moment and it feels as
if its a living breathing person close to you.
I thought this was sheer power in its innocence.

Fave for me!

[None]

This is such a carefree and delicate poem that pleases in a powerful way. I love the uniqueness of your poem. The tender abandon it brings and stays until the end. Very beautiful!

[Candle in the wind]

oh sorry hadn't noticed it was back was missing it

[SweetPeachesAlways]

Delightful! Very enjoyable and very somehow 'sunshiney'! :) Love it!

[Raef C. Boylan]

The concept of this is fantastic and a lot of the imagery is great.
But I have to agree with what another reviewer said somewhere: the piece switches a little between a child's narrative and an adult's perspective on it; I think you might to work on it a little more in order to determine the voice for this piece. We don't necessarily have to dumb down our language when speaking from a young child's viewpoint, but the childish structure of your opening stanza -
"I am seven,
Have a blue friend, Sky,
Its blue, bluer than my new dress." - feels a little misleading when we are then launched into an extensive vocabulary.
Maybe, in order to mesh it, the kid's account could be interspliced with the adult looking back on it? That way, you wouldn't need to consider losing such gems as
"Fake egoist!"

I enjoyed reading this, honestly, and i really admire the originality and imagination that spawned it; I just feel that, in order to be constructive, I should advise you to re-think the voice of this.

Overall, great work. Thanks for sharing it.

[Candle in the wind]

I got wafted along with this poem which reads like a gentle breeze of innocence ....its beautiful.

[.]

Hehe, very awesome! Humorous and cute! Very insightful as well. I love your way of wording everything. It's perfect. It kept flowing from one word to the next. Ahh, the joys of the great sky ;)

Very Cool!

Mikey

[Daisy]

this is so fantastic. the whole way you have written this is wonderful. I want the rain to fall so I can experience your images. I also had an umbrella that was blue once as well. sorry the review is'nt so good I'm just going to read this again and again. x

[Andromeda]

beautiful and innocent. definitely unique

[A.J. Smith]

This is so beautiful and whimsical, not to mention brilliantly written. What an amazing imagination you have, and what a talent for bringing your reader right into your world to experience your special relationship with the sky...being on the peak, playing in the rain. You are an extraordinary poet.

[O!]

this poem talks about YOU - "FREE and ABOUND".........nice little fantasy here and enjoyed the innoncense of it all......reading this has given me a nice feeling; it was good to feel 'lil' again :-)
I must say, for a lil girl it was a written like a big girl, making it even more interesting :-)
correction:
the best OF friends

x,
O!