Run Away

Love, heartbreak, greif, pain

You took my faith,
when you screamed at me
Until I would break.

You took my faith.
When you looked the other way,
no matter what I would say

You made me lose faith
When my tears
could not abate.

You couldn't taste.

So Wrapped up in your hate.
Made me feel like every moment
with me was a waste.

You could not taste.

Holding me in such a tight embrace
You know I felt safe
You rise,
just like that,
connection off.
No transition, no blurred lines, no confusion.
I feared your gaze,
or words you might say,
like it might be more than I can actually take.
In this state.
Where I was just safe in your arms, & now
if I'm lucky your annoyed that I am taking up space.

Love and Disdain, shock the system.
Dropping me in ice bath with a high fever.
It's no wonder my neurons fire off in a chaotic seizure.

When you kissed my tears away.
When you looked at me, with such
softness.
I hit all the brakes.
For you give me the sense that you are standing
for me, and with that love, cannot believe this is a mistake.

I lost faith.
Was I insane?
Because I swore in your gaze,
we found our love,
protected from all the damage,
all the hate.

And you couldn't taste,
the tears that sliced through my face.
Soaked my shirt, sunk in to part of me,
so damaged,
each breathe so painful to take.

Evidence I just couldn't shake.
That no one could love me
that I'm just a temptation.
That no one really loved me,
only the images they saw reflect off my body
I feel the reality take.
I have to escape,
the horror
of all this weight.
That all love for me is fake.
That I'm not enough for anyone to stay.
That the comfort I felt in your arms,
I will never replace.

I lost faith,
I can't even try