You make me love you

I wrote this poem for a girl i once loved but can never see again.

You make me love you while you're standing there,
You make me love you when im am in dispare,
You make me love you when the world is bitter and cold,
You make me love you when im am all alone.
You make me see how caring and wonderful you are,
You make me see what life has to give than nothing at all,
You make me see who i am inside,
You make me see the light that will never die.
You make me love you every single day,
You make me love you even though your gone,
I will love you till my soul is done.

Reviews

[Writer CW Kirkland]

I really enjoyed this poem, and I can see it becoming a song with the right music. You did a good job expressing your feelings for a special woman, and it appears you did not hold anything back. There are a few grammar errors. For example, you said "im am" twice in this piece, and I think you meant to say "I am". Also, the sixth line does not seem to flow easily. I recommend rewording it. Overall, I enjoyed this piece, and I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the Cafe.

[Rosary]

"You make see how caring and wonderful you are," you missed the me commen mistake when your writing fast its also a little to repetative but i still enjoyed reading it

[.::Cup^E^Cake*RaWr!*::.]

Awww...this is a very good poem!!!
U said what u needed to say but didn't get too complicated about it!!
Kudos for u!!

[Angelic Darkness]

I think this is a cute poem, something we have all felt, and
experienced. I do however think you used "you make me love you"
too much through this poem. It is the title, and you could have
used it once more through the poem, but after you read it
again and again, for me it feels like no creativity cloning those
words together. I will however tell you that I loved this line:
I will love you till my soul is done.

That one line is powerful, and actually pulls the whole poem
together as a whole. I wish you luck with the rest of your
writings...AD

[MelyG.]

*sighs* this was so simple but it touched me. I really liked reading this piece