The Witch

Screenplay version of my story 'The Jackson Witch'.

FLASHES, FADE IN, RISING BRIGHTNESS.

INT. GROCERY STORE - MORNING
JEFFREY, 5, and his mother, PRUDENCE, 40, are shopping at Pritcher’s Foods. The boy wears a small suit, the mother wears an old fashioned house dress. Prudence is frowning and carefully reading the label of a can of beans. Jeffrey eyes a clip strip of cheap plastic water pistols. He takes one in hand and holds it up to his mother, smiling. Prudence frowns deeper at Jeffrey. He drops his smile and puts back the toy.

PRUDENCE
Come along, Jeffrey.

Prudence walks stiffly and briskly down the aisle, with Jeffrey a few paces in tow. They round the corner to the next aisle. The shelves are filled with toilet paper on one side and brightly labeled cleaning products on the others. MR. EDELWEISS, 65, who is their neighbor, is slowly walking down the aisle towards them while shopping the racks.

MR. EDELWEISS
Good morning, Mrs. Hyatt.

PRUDENCE
Mr. Edelweiss.

MR. EDELWEISS
(giving Jeffrey a mock-salute)
And a good morning to you, young sir.

Jeffrey smiles.

JEFFREY
Good morning, Mr. Edelweiss.

Prudence ignores the two of them and peruses the shelves.

MR. EDELWEISS
Had any adventures today?

JEFFREY
Nope.
 
MR. EDELWEISS
       (whispers)
Well you know, there’s always something exciting going on at Pritcher’s. Last I heard, there was a witch on the loose.

Prudence scoffs.

 JEFFREY
A witch?

INTERCOM
Attention shoppers, would the owner of a red Plymouth Valiant please come to the customer service desk. The owner of a red Plymouth Valiant, please come to the customer service desk.
Prudence looks startled.

MR. EDELWEISS
That’s your car, isn’t it, Mrs. Hyatt?

PRUDENCE
You know it is. Come along Jeffrey.

JEFFREY
Mother, may I stay here with Mr. Edelweiss?

MR. EDELWEISS
(smiling)
It’s no bother, ma’am.

PRUDENCE
Very well. Don’t leave the aisle.

Prudence hurries off. They both relax when she’s out of sight.

JEFFREY
Is there really a witch?

MR. EDELWEISS
Oh, I’m sure of it. But she’s hard to spot, very tricky.

Mr. Edelweiss takes a bon-bon from his pocket and pops it in his mouth, savoring it. He offers another to Jeffrey. He takes it.

JEFFREY
What does a witch want with a grocery store?

MR. EDELWEISS
Perfect place to snatch someone for a stew, I suppose. Lots of people always coming and going. Sometimes, though, they just want to cause a bit of mischief.

JEFFREY
What do they look like?

MR. EDELWEISS
Never can tell. Witches can change their shape. They can even look like someone you know, down to the last detail. Very tricky.

JEFFREY
Then how can you tell?

MR. EDELWEISS
Well, in the old days they had lots of methods to try and reveal a witch. They would sometimes tie a supposed witch to a big stone and toss it in a lake. If the person floated, they were a witch.

JEFFREY
Really?

MR. EDELWEISS
Not very practical, though. There’s not always a lake around. Really the best way is to scratch them.

JEFFREY
Scratch them?

MR. EDELWEISS
They used to say that when you scratch a witch to make her bleed, it eases her suffering from the grip of evil and sends her soul to God. So the more scratches, the better.

JEFFREY
What do you scratch them with?

MR. EDELWEISS
Doesn’t matter, I suppose. As long as blood is drawn.

Prudence reemerges at the end of the aisle, and walks stiffly towards them.

PRUDENCE
I trust he didn’t give you any trouble.

MR. EDELWEISS
A true gentleman, this one.

PRUDENCE
And I trust you weren’t filling his head with nonsense.

MR. EDELWEISS
Just the essentials, ma’am. Any trouble with your car?

PRUDENCE
Just a problem with the parking brake, but it’s all remedied now. Come along, Jeffrey, we’re behind schedule.

Prudence walks away. Mr. Edelweiss gives Jeffrey a salute and winks. Jeffrey smiles and salutes back.
 
PRUDENCE (CONT’D)
Jeffrey!

Jeffrey leaves the aisle quickly.

INT. FROZEN FOOD SECTION - MOMENTS LATER
Jeffrey and Prudence are surrounded by large glass freezer doors brightly lit by overhead fluorescent lights. Prudence is holding a bag of frozen peas, carefully reading the label. Jeffrey is studying her as intensely as she is studying the bag. He reaches out and scratches the back of her calf with his finger.

PRUDENCE
Ouch! Jeffrey, stop that this instant!

Prudence goes back to reading, and Jeffrey stares. He scratches again.

PRUDENCE (CONT’D)
Jeffrey Hyatt!

Jeffrey digs his nail in, drawing blood, and Prudence yells.

PRUDENCE (CONT’D)
What is the matter with---

Prudence is cut off as Jeffrey grabs her leg with one hand and continues scratching with the other, knocking her off balance and sending her falling to the ground. Her head makes a sickening thud. Mr. Edelweiss meanders into the frozen food section, and smiles when he sees Jeffrey scratching at his mother’s leg. He salutes the boy. Jeffrey salutes back with a streak of blood on his finger.

FADE OUT

Reviews

[DavidRyanM]

The other one had a more harrowing tone to it. A lot of that is because of the ability to describe every little action. I like this though. It reads quick and it's well written. Like I said, the other one version just brought more of an unsettling tone over the whole thing.