Crimson Knight

The thunder roars through the night

A lost soul insists to fight

Seeking to capture his light

Stars paint the midnight sky

Is it any wonder why

This crimson knight does dare try

With all his willing might

Casting away the fright

Attempting to make this battle right

Silent screams and misty eyes

Blood stained tears and cry's 

A vendetta he sighs  

Reviews

[Moon]

I like this and I think that you have done a wonderful job . Thank you for sharing .

[Dr. Wood ?]

this reads just like the sort of thing I might have written all those years ago when I was mere teenager...It DOES need a little work..In my humble opinion...But shows great promise

[Danielle]

Thank You, I appreciate your review. Could you please give me an idea about what it is about the piece that needs more work?

[Dr. Wood ?]

may be make it scan a little better..I also think the last line probably needs altering, it doesn't seem to make much sense to me

The thunder roars all through the night
A wayward souls insists to fight
Seeking to capture his light.

As bright stars paint the midnight sky
Oh is it any wonder why
The Crimson Knight does try.

I actually went on to the end but what do you think??

[Danielle]

Thank You for your input but I think i'll leave it as it is.

[Dr. Wood ?]

ok..no worries