Girls

Girls

A Story by Danielle
"

This is a major work in progress.

"
      I think we should introduce ourselves to each other and say a little about what were here for and our age if that's aright with everybody, D.D. said excitedly. They all decided that would be a good idea. I'll go first. I'm D.D. if anyone wants to know it stands for Deidre Dawn, i'm eighteen and a half, studying to be a stylist. I will one day be as known as Rachel Zoe. My own style is eclectic and i'm a very open minded person. I hope by the time these four years pass I will be able to call all of you friends. So your next?
       Hi i'm Tea', i'm here to model, i'm nineteen, and I guess that's it. Jade your next., D.D. said. My name is Jade, i'm studying Fashion Designing, i'm twenty and my favorite designer is Betsey Johnson. Hi everyone, I am Amber, i'm already a makeup artist but i'm here to perfect my craft as any professional does. I usually don't share my age but I guess since everyone else is I will, i'm twenty one. Anything else anyone wants to know? No one responded so Lacey spoke next. Hey the name is Lacey, and i'm here studying to be a hairstylist, i'm twenty and if anyone wants me to do your hair just ask. Hi you guys i'm Drew here to learn photography, i'm twenty one and love taking pictures of everything.

© 2012 Danielle


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Reviews

I agree puncuation is key when writing dialog. It helps the reader to know who is saying what in a story.
I like that you don't constantly us she said this, she said that type of wording. It's bland, but okay to use a little.

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is a good piece, and there is always room for growth. Some people do not feel confident in their own writing, and therefore bring others down in order to feel better about their lack of intelligence. My solution? Keep writing! It's motivation pure and simple. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


Punctuation. It's there for a reason. All the dialogues are mixed up, and if it wasn't so short no one would have the patience to read the whole thing. Just saying.

Posted 12 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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101 Views
3 Reviews
Added on April 3, 2012
Last Updated on April 3, 2012

Author

Danielle
Danielle

Beckley, WV



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Happy New Year to everyone!! Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose! Janis Joplin Hi to all my WritersCafe friends! I've been gone for awhile but I'm back now. Currently I have 6.. more..

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