Bedroom Eyes

My attempt to write an Erotic Song....

Scented candles lit, by the bay window I sit
Silver stars paint the indigo sky as I dream of you and I

Flames glow from the fireplace, I gaze into a picture of your face
Longing to be near, having your voice to hear

Rose petals scattered across the floor, waiting for you to walk through that door
Satin sheets spread across the bed, it seems I can't get you out of my head

Don't know how much longer I can wait, hoping you will not be late
The desire is fiercely burning, the night is quietly turning

As the fire slowly dims out, I sigh and pout
But let me assure, this passion I adore

So i'll spread my thighs as I fantasize
Of your bedroom eyes

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

This sounded like a fantastic song of love ...Thank you for sharing...:)

[DarkRainbowPie]

I like the way the rhyme in this flows so easily, it just adds to the realism of the poem, put the point across to the reader that these are real thoughts, not just imagined ones for a poem, well done! :)

[spiritwind]

hmmm... I truly don't know what to say
I wish there was some new image presented
though I suspect that these images work very well for a song
tapping into a stream of responses to firelight and rose petals
and silk sheets

[The Nude Writer]

Very sexy and sweet :) Very good attempt at erotic poetry!

[Danielle]

Thank you, I wasn't too sure if it is erotic enough

[The Nude Writer]

Well, compared to some other erotic stories and poetry I guess it is a little tame. I just don't like when writers go over the top. Lets just say you have room if you want to step it up a notch :)