Sour Grapes

Deep in the destitute woodland it was raining ever so lightly. The raindrops appeared to be bouncing off of the leaves and onto various surfaces of green shrubbery.

Some did not bounce though; some saved themselves for the matinee and became a collection of raindrops which would eventually form a ‘maindrop’ which was enough to give anybody a good soaking.

It was dawn and the birds were united in chorus, unbeknown to them, there was something sinister about this beautiful new day for creeping through the overgrowth was an animal with the intelligence of a dead gnat.

His name was Bo, he snippety snapped as he heavy footed the fallen foliage.

Bo was the resident poacher around Norwood; he had been taking advantage of Lady Oktober’s absence in recent months and had been trespassing and living off her land.

Slowly does it, he thought to himself. Don’t overdo it and don’t be too hasty for I have all the time in the world. He marveled at the beautiful creature in front of him. Finally he would have one and would get to taste the fabulous flesh he’d heard so much about.

The bird with 100 eyes, (affectionately known as the peacock) was stood only yards away from him, teasing a beetle that had the misfortune of landing on its back. He could almost taste the marinade he would prepare. It would be wonderful, maybe he would share with his friends. On second thought, no he wouldn’t, that would be out of character, lets not get carried away.

He inched his way forward and lifted his weapon, fumbling for the trigger when suddenly, the largest ‘maindrop’ splat splattered onto his ear which startled him. He fired the gun up into the air. The peacock which in turn, flew up (very badly) to the safety of a nearby oak tree.

Bo stood up like a lightning bolt had charged though him, he was furious. He shook his fist and he yelled “You had a mighty lucky esc” he was interrupted by laughter. Full of rage and adrenaline he investigated the source.

Bo saw a foot dangling down from the branch where the peacock had landed. There sat a man carving a piece of wood. He had a chip on his shoulder and a smirk on his face as his eyes made contact with Bo’s.

“You nearly had me there, you’ve been living off this land for far too long don’t you think? A very dishonest way to earn a living in my opinion” said the Chameleon.

“I’ll do as I please when I’m in possession of this gun” laughed Bo, waving the weapon about “You will fear and respect me, you will follow my commands and look up to me”

Looking down, The Chameleon could not believe what he was hearing, he let out a little sound. Not quite laughter but a squeak of sheer delight.

“Sir, from where I’m sitting you look like a tiny little man it’s almost laughable that you would demand respect. How can you demand something immediately that can only ever be earned over time. This shows your lack of intelligence” chirped the Chameleon “Oh and sir? I know you fired your last round so your weapon in obsolete” he added.

Bo looked rather red-faced “It won’t stop me climbing up there and giving you what for” he sneered.

“Go right ahead” said the Chameleon and he continued to carve whilst an angry Bo embarked on his new catch.

When he had reached the branch where The Chameleon was resting, he was rather out of breath and very irritable. “Maybe you’d appreciate a little rest?” inquired The Chameleon. He blew the loose shavings from the lamp he’d carved. They danced about and glistened in the morning breeze for a couple of seconds. Even Bo could see the beauty in this surely?

Noticing that the shavings were not behaving like ordinary wood shavings, Bo backed away. They spun into a vortex, turning on it’s imaginary axis and heading in Bo’s direction. It swallowed him up whole and sucked him quickly into the lamp.

The Chameleon secured the lamp by placing a lid on the top but not before peering in and having the final say. “I’m sure you’ll be very comfortable in there Mr. Bo, others will be along shortly and at least one of them will be foolish enough to set you free, if only for a short time”

He carved a message on the lamp

“Knock 3 times and say hello to Mr. Bo”

With that, he set the lamp down under a rock, beside the winding pathway.

He looked upwards and could sense eyes upon him, he knew Lady Oktober had returned to her territory.

She was of no threat to him but was likely to cause a fair bit of mischief for the travelers on their expedition.

He hoped so anyway.

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