Teaching Her to Love Me

A Story by shelby

Please don’t be pink, please don’t be pink!

Pink. The little stick was pink. As soon as she had opened it up it was pink, and after waiting for the two minutes, it had only gotten pinker. She hated the color pink. Ever since she was little when her mom left she trashed everything that was pink. Like a bull reacts when he sees red, she does the same with pink. Now she held in one hand, the worst kind of pink of all, and in the other, her belly that now held the little person that was the cause of all this trouble.

You could say that Lily Ann had it all. This of course isn’t the case. She didn’t have a mom, and she didn’t have a dad who compensated for her not having one. She didn’t have a million friends, and boys knocking down her door. No one wanted to be her. No one envied her, or her things. No one even wanted to call her by her real name. So, if you actually knew Lily Ann, you would know that she doesn’t have much at all. Not many people know her though, so no one really says that.

I however, know Lily Ann very well. This is our story…

“Izzy-B!”

Dear God! Someone please shoot me now. I thought.

“Hey, didn’t you hear me calling you?” Keller asked

Yes. Who can’t hear your girlish scream? “No.” I replied.

I never wanted much, so when I started being described as ‘the girl who had it all’ it was pretty great. But I always wondered if Keller wasn’t around if I would just return to my life as no one. Lately, that life sounded pretty great too.

Keller threw his arm around my shoulders, and rambled on aimlessly about nothing important, or worth caring about, leaving me to my thoughts, which wasn’t much better. The bell rang, and everyone shuffled off to class. Keller and his followers weren’t. I missed the good old days when I used to go to class. I was kind of good at school. The guys started to make fun of someone. I looked at him, and I couldn’t understand why. He wasn’t nerdy. All his clothes were in style. He was only carrying one book, and didn’t seem to be in any real hurry to get to class.

He didn’t pay any attention to the boys’ remarks. He looked at me and gave me a kind of sad look of acknowledgment, before disappearing out of the courtyard.

“Who was that?” I asked

“Who was who?” Keller answered back without really paying attention.

I swear you give brainless and airhead a whole new meaning.

“Him! The boy, the one who just walked by?” I said, starting to raise my voice. God his utterly self absorbed attitude irritated me.

“That was just Mason. Gosh don’t get you tights in a wad Izzy-B”

“Whatever.” I said as I walked off.

“Hey where are you going?” Keller called after me. I was already half way gone though, before he even noticed.

The only place you won’t be. Class.

I was just in time for what used to be my favorite class with my favorite teacher. French l. The teacher looked up from the bored where he was drawing a very detailed chalk version of the Eiffel tower. Without a word I handed him my late pass, and took a seat in the back of class. Mr. Troop looked almost dumbfounded. Instead of giving me the evil eye and lecturing me the way all my other teachers would throughout the rest of the day about my responsibilities as a student, he just shook his head and when back to the Eiffel tower.

I was only in French l because my credits from middle school hadn’t transferred over. I should have been in French lll. So when Mr. Troop started rattling off in French, all the students scrambled for the dictionaries and Google. I however, knew what he was saying.

Well, it’s very nice to see you Miss Lily. I’m glad you have decided to join us once again. I hope that this is a sign that you’re beginning to get your wits about you again, and I won’t have to see that boy attached to your hip anymore.

He looked behind him at the rest of the class, then at me and gave me a wink. I smiled back at him because one, this would be the permanent end of the conversation, and two, he was a really great teacher, and three, I think, secretly, he understands me. I made plans with my old study group for the weekend and after school coffee plans with my old best friend who seemed more than happy to see me again. I knew it was all for show of course, and that she was going to rip me a new one as soon as we were alone. I didn’t know so many people had missed me. I really wish that I would have known sooner.

English came and went easily. We had a substitute so we were watching my favorite version of Romeo and Juliet. Then on to art where the teacher is so wacked out she never knows if I’m there or not. Today was going very well, until lunch when I had no one to sit with. Even though school had only started a month ago, everyone already had formed their own groups without any room for new comers. I thought back to the time when I wasn’t one of Keller’s girls. That was last year before Christmas. Rose, the girl who was my best friend before I was Keller’s girl friend, waved me over to her table. I sat down with her and she smiled, but said nothing else. I knew I deserved much worse, so I didn’t complain.

The rest of the day was uneventful. I met up with Rose in the parking lot so we could go to the local coffee shop like we had planned, that and I was going to need a ride home. We passed Keller and his merry band of immaturity on the way. He looked at me then at his side like he had just found out I hadn’t been there the whole time. Rose and I both laughed. Then one of the boys in Keller’s gang blocked our path and gave Rose a hard time. I started to yell at Keller, who was wearing an evil grin, but before I could Mason came in on his motorcycle scratching the car. Since the guys had the attention span of rodents, they forgot about us. All except Keller, who now had a foot long scratch down the left side of his car. Now it was my turn to wear the evil grin.

The rest of the week was pretty uneventful as I got back in the swing of my classes. I was starting to almost miss Keller. Almost. Until I got a strange surprise, Mason Twan. He came waltzing in to my French class out of nowhere saying that his schedule had been remapped to fit his college classes. I didn’t know how he was talking college classes when he was only in French l. Mr. Troop took him aside to see where he was to know where to place him in our upcoming play, Cyrano. It had been unanimously decided that I was the best female, so I would play Roxanne. Mr. Troop would be playing Cyrano, so we only had the problem of Christen.

After the shortest placement test I had ever seen Mason plopped down in the back one seat over from mine. Mr. Troop when to the board and started the lesson as usual, but the whole room felt uneasy. I snuck a peak at Mason, because he was the only difference, just to find that he was watching me like a creeper already. I didn’t break eye contact, so he stuck his hand across the aisle and introduced himself.

“Mason.” After a pause “And your…Keller’s new tag along?” He said with a cocky grin.

“No.” I said. This normally would have been the end of it, but I felt compelled to tell him more. “It’s Lily.”

I wish I could say that the rest of the day was just as un eventful as the last, and it would have been, had Mason not suddenly been moved in to all of my classes, and each class had that same uneasy feeling.

To my absolute dismay, Rose had invited him to sit with us at lunch as well, so I just couldn’t escape him. And I didn’t know if it should be bothering me or not.

By the end of the week I had a group project of some kind in every class. And lucky me, I was the one who was designated to catch Mason up, so we were partners. On day in English Mason, who sat in front of me, leaned back and said

“Have you started your modern day interpretation of Romeo and Juliet yet?”

“Yes, why?” I really didn’t want to talk to him. Something about him made me really uncomfortable.

“Because I’m completely lost on it. I can get the jist of what the characters are saying, but I can’t translate it line for line.”

“So what would you like me to do about it? You’re not copying my paper.”

“I didn’t want to; I was just wondering if we could meet after school or something so you could help me.” He said it like to even consider copying might as well count as murder. I didn’t know what to say. I would have been more than glad to help out anyone else. And I really needed the extra credit touring points to help my grades since I screwed them up so bad last year. So what made him different?

“I don’t know, I have to see what I have going on.”

He gave me an evil half smile “Really? We have the same schedule. Exactly. Were in all the same study groups, and are working together in all of our projects”

“So?” I said back. I had gone back to work by now, and although I had heard everything he said, I wanted to pretend like I wasn’t paying much attention.

“So, if I have time, then you would have time too.” He said back

“Did it ever occur to you that I might have a life outside of school?”

“Oh right. Keller’s shoulder rest I forgot. I’m sorry, my apologies.” He said that smile never leaving his face, and turned back around. I was fuming, how could he say that to me? The worst part was that I knew he was right. Until last week I didn’t do much else but hang out with Keller who called me Izzy-B because he thought my name was Elisabeth.

When class ended I got up and stood in Mason’s way. He just looked at me, challenging.

“Meet me at the library at 6:00… and stop being a jerk.”

“You mean honest?” Mason asked. I turned on my heel and started walking to art class. “And why so late?” he said following me out. I was going to tell him to stop following me around like a lost puppy, but then I remembered that we had the same classes, so we were going to the same place. He had already made me feel stupid enough times today, and I didn’t want to go for another.

“I have to practice for the play in French. You should know that, we have the same schedule. Exactly.

When we made it to art class I finally got some time away from him because this was the only class were we didn’t sit two feet away from each other and I didn’t have to hold his hand the whole time. Even though we still were in the same class, and he was only on the other side of the room from me it had become my favorite part of the day because I not only got a little time away from Mason, but got to be completely alone. Our teacher, Mrs. Magdalin, was a firm believer in creativity only takes place in the right environment. So if a student wanted to be alone, then she could sit in the corner by the window and be alone for an hour. And that’s just what I wanted. So I got to be by myself, and even though I never really came out with anything worth a good grade, Mrs. Magdaline never had anything negative to say. Once, when I was trying to make a birds nest with three little eggs in it, and it came out looking like a pumpkin with down syndrome, she just smiled and asked what kind of bird eggs there were going to be. She even suggested that they be blue jays. Maybe she understands me too.

It seemed the further we got in the day the more Mason would try to talk to me. Mostly about random stuff, like about why we have to learn about angles, and how it has never helped him in life. And about the statics of fights in public schools, and about the girly books he has read. Nothing really ever important, but when he said it, it was funny. I figured that was probably his point, so I didn’t give him the satisfaction of me laughing.

Until the end of the day when he started narrating over the narrator while we were watching the twilight zone in history, he was quite about it too. So when I busted out laughing, the teacher gave me a harsh look and made us write an essay due by the end of the class instead. This earned me harsh looks from everyone else in class. Except Mason who continued to narrate everything that was going on around us. He started with his pen asking if my pen came here often, and then went on to the birds outside. He told me an elaborate story about how the boy bird had finally plucked up the courage to go talk to the girl who was over on the tree branch by herself, but she thought that she was too good for him so she rejected him and the boy bird flew off with her best friend. Now they’re going have bird babies and she’s going die alone.

By then the most of the class was listening, and I was forgiven. Everyone’s favorite was when the teacher stepped outside for a call, and Mason narrated him. Then, when Mr. Lee finally walked down the hall Mason got in front of the class and pretended to teach the class as Mr. Lee.

It was 6:47 and I was starving. Rose suggested that I leave at 6:10 when Mason didn’t show up, but I wanted to be nice. So when I finally decided to leave, and gathered all my stuff, guess who walked in to the library? I didn’t even have words, other then he so owed me, so I just stared at him.

“I’m… so sorry Lil. Really I am. I, just- I had to take care of something.” He said. He looked like he meant it, but I was too tired and hungry to care. “I would have called, but I don’t have your number.” I just kept staring at him, slowly getting angrier. “Here, let me make it up to you.”

“How do you plan on doing that?” I demanded. He apparently hadn’t thought it out that far and was quite. “So we’ve established that I don’t have a life, but I don’t enjoy spending it here.” I said, gesturing to the quite musty stacks all around us. He still hadn’t said anything so I started to leave.

“Lil, I really am sorry.” He called after me. I made it all the way out to the parking lot before I remembered that I didn’t have a car, and no way to get home.

I tried to call Rose and then my dad but no answer from either. Mason came out and offered to drive me home, but I was still mad, so I said no I had someone coming. To prove me wrong he stood outside with me, with his arms crossed, and even though I didn’t want to see him, Keller showed up. I was about to walk over and hitch a ride until some other girl jumped out of the passenger side of his car. I was hurt .I didn’t mean much to Keller, and he meant about the same to me, and no one knew why we put up with each other, but he was still my boyfriend and this really hurt me.

I don’t know why, but I looked up at Mason. He gave me the same look he gave me the 1^st time I saw him. I looked back at Keller, I hadn’t ever seen the girl, but I’m sure lots of people said the same thing about me when Keller and I first got together. Before I could stop it a few tears had slipped down my cheeks.

Then Mason did something I would have never expected someone to do, yell at Keller. Teachers, not even his own mother ever raised their voice to him, or ever tell him he was wrong, so I was as surprised as everyone else when mason started yelling all kinds of gibberish and took off toward where Keller was standing. The girl ditched both boys but walked over to the front door where I was standing. She smiled at me, and said “I can NOT believe that I’m going out with Keller!” no use for his last name. She clearly didn’t know who I was, and had no idea that she was just a pawn, so I couldn’t make myself mad at her. I just nodded.

I looked back out at the parking lot. By now a crowd had gathered, and the boys were really going at it. Mason was obviously winning, but Keller was putting up a good fight too. I heard someone who was bad at whispering that this wasn’t gonna end well and she didn’t want mason to get arrested again. I had no idea that Mason had ever been arrested, but I guess he didn’t really want to talk about it, that and I had been ignoring him. But I still headed out to the fight and got between the boys.

“Move!” they both demanded but I stayed where I was. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Keller and give him the death stare, so I dropped my head instead.

“Take me home.” I said faintly. I didn’t know why I even broke up their fight but I had and there wasn’t any backing out now.

Both Keller and Mason looked equally confused I sighed and grabbed Mason by the arm and headed in the direction I hopped was his car. It wasn’t and after a few more seconds of looking absolutely dumbfounded, he spun me around in the other direction and opened the passenger door for me. I slid in and we drove away. I looked back at Keller and he was looking back at me like this was the 1^st time he even realized that I was there.

Mason sped out of the parking, and then on to the highway and back off again without any real destination point. He didn’t even seem angry, which was disturbing on its own. He didn’t seem anything at all, which was worse. He let out a sigh here and there as if he was talking to an unreasonable child. I sat as far away from him as I could in the passenger seat, which had me squished up against the window. This must have looked absolutely retarded and I didn’t know why I sat this way, it wasn’t like Mason had hit me, but I didn’t move over at all and at least try to act like he wasn’t abducting me.

I snuck a peek at him, and like that 1^st day in French he was already looking right at me.

“Mason!” I yelled. The way he looked at me was so…careful, like he was afraid I would combust at any moment. And he looked so angry. His face held an anger that wasn’t directed at me, specifically, but a deep and burning anger none the less.

“What?” he asked. He had no idea why I was screaming.

“I-put your eyes back on the road!” I said gesturing towards the road in front of us, although we had remarkably stayed in our lane the whole time.

“Oh.” He said simply, and turned his attention back on the road. He smiled to himself like of all the things he expected me to be screaming about, that was the last one.

He drove about 10 more miles before softly edging onto the shoulder. I had a flash of nearly every scary movie me and rose had suck into one summer in middle school. I knew without a doubt that this was the part where Mason would drag me off to the woods and kill me. And then possibly chop me up and eat me saving only the fingers to mail to my parents. I couldn’t believe that I had accepted a ride with someone that I didn’t know. A potential psycho that I didn’t know at that. He didn’t though. He sat there for a minute, and said nothing. I could feel my unease suffocating us, and Mason must have too. He ever so carefully took the keys out of the ignition and placed them on the dash board slightly more on the passenger side as if a way of saying ‘I mean no harm’

He turned in his seat to face me, I wanted to look back at him, but I looked straight ahead. He sighed again, but it was a disappointed sigh.

“I know what you’re thinking.”

No you don’t I thought. You don’t know anything about me. At all. You make fun of me, yea sure so you know enough about last year with Keller, but who doesn’t?

“You don’t even know who to send my fingers to.” I hadn’t meant to say this out loud, and now there was no way to take it back, or cover it up.

Mason just looked at me “What-What does that even mean?” he said

I sighed “if you were a psycho killer, who chopped your victims up and ate them but saved the fingers to send them to their loved ones, who would you send mine to” Mason almost laughed, but saw my face and thought better of it.

He leaned back in his seat and looked straight ahead like I had been “if I was a psycho killer,” He started. He had one eyebrow up and stole a side glance at me. “and you were one of my victims, I would probably send your fingers to…Rose?” he looked at me to see if this was the right answer. I didn’t know if there was a right answer to this, but my answer would have been Rose too. She was all I really had anymore. But how did he know that? How did he know that my home life was counted as completely dysfunctional? I turned in my seat and just looked at him. He was smiling, but I must have looked scared, because he stopped. “What? She’s your best friend right?”

“Well, I mean, yea” I said back. I started to laugh then, this whole conversation was stupid. Mason didn’t join me, but he did smile. We sat together for a while. We just sat. We didn’t really talk, but it wasn’t awkward. I looked at the clock after a while. It was 9:07.

” We’ve been here for hours” I didn’t mean to say that out loud either. Mason snapped up, and tried to hide that he had been asleep.

“Yea” he agreed drowsily.

“Oh whatever” I said with a small laugh.

“Why whatever do you mean?” mason said and laughed too.

“Sorry I bore you to sleep” I said jokingly he just smiled at me. “oh yes to tears dear, to tears.” He said as he started the car. We drove without words for a few minutes and I decided that if he already knew where I lived, I had a real problem. He didn’t take me home though. 10 minutes later he pulled in front of a small little dinner called ‘Sis’s hole in the wall’. Mason stopped the car and got out. I hadn’t meant to stay in the car like an idiot, so when Mason came around on the other side and opened my door I could feel myself blushing, but I still didn’t get out. Mason offered me his hand. “I know it doesn’t look like much, but it’s really great here” after another moment of hesitation he added “you’ve got to be starving Lil” finally I was able to make my feet work and get out.

The few people who were there were all sitting at the bar, but Mason led us to the back into a little booth. He sat across from me and just stared. “What?” I asked self conscious. “Do you trust me?” he asked without ever looking away. It seemed like a really deep question. One I didn’t know the answer to since we had hardly spoken all night. “Well” I started “you know who to send my fingers to I guess” Mason busted out laughing. I wasn’t trying to be funny, but I laughed too. The waitress came up with a big smile despite the late hour. She looked at Mason like they shared a secret. Mason still was looking at me with a look like he was deciding. Without looking up at the girl he ordered two of something called ‘the football Friday special’. She glanced at mason for a minute longer then turned her eyes towards me to size me up. She must have been happy with her conclusion; she went right on smiling and walked away to fill our order.

“Sorry,” Mason said “I didn’t know that she would be working tonight.”

I shook my head absently to show that she wasn’t bothering me. She came back then with two coffees and a pitcher of what looked like ice tea with ‘SWEET’ written across it in green marker. She stayed until Mason looked up at her. When he finally did she moved strategically to face him and block me all at the same time. “So, it’s been a while since we’ve seen you around here…why don’t you head back to the kitchen and say hi to everyone?” she suggested. It was obviously code for something, but I didn’t know what for. Mason gave her a look like she was stupid but pleasantly said “maybe another time Allyson” she left pouting. I raised my eyebrow at him as he poured a glass of the tea. He looked up at me and then filled my glass to buy more time. “What?” he said finally and shrugged his shoulder. “Do you know her?” I asked even though it was obvious that he did. “Yea,” he said “I helped her with something… but it was a really long time ago” he added the last part “What were you helping her with?” I asked out of mild curiosity. “it wasn’t one of my best moments” he said “she just wanted her dad to realize she wasn’t a little girl anymore.” He seemed upset with himself.

“So you two used to hook up?” it didn’t seem like such a big deal to me, I heard about people hooking up all the time, for lots a different reasons. Mason seemed relived at my causal reaction. “Yea, we used to hook up” our food came out then, but a different waitress came out with it. “See why you had to trust me?” mason asked. I did. There was so much food I felt full just looking at it. There was bacon, pancakes, waffles, eggs, hamburgers, fries, hash browns, mashed potatoes, and there was enough to feed the Swiss Army. Mason smiled to himself and spilt it all down the middle. We ate and laughed and joked and ate some more. By one we finally left. It wasn’t till I was back in his car then second time that I asked “Mason, where’s your motorcycle?” “It’s at the house I have to work on it, it broke down. Why do you want to ride it?” He asked with a devilish grin. “Maybe one day,” I said.

I was relieved that I had to give him directions to my house. When I got home there was a message on the machine from my dad saying he would be another few days. I could hear his girlfriend in the back ground so it really met he would be another week. I sighed and went up to bed.

The next day I was ambushed by Rose in the parking lot. I had managed to drag my dad’s old clunker out of the garage and to school, but now I was seriously worried about my chances of getting it back home. Rose was erratically telling me some story that had been passed down to her on the rumor mill. I didn’t catch too much of it as I tried to pop the hood of the car.

“So what happened last night?” Rose demanded. I looked up, not realizing that this would have a test at the end. Mason walked by then, he smiled at me, but didn’t say anything about last night’s events. I smiled back.

“This old girl sounds pretty bad” He said, gesturing to the car.

“Yea, I’m trying to get under the hood, but I think its rusted shut” I said gesturing to my past futile attempts. He reached his hand under the grill easily and found the latch. The hood groaned in protest, and then slowly creaked open. Mason gave me his cocky know-it-all smile.

“I heard you were also evolved in last night’s festivities, Mason” Rose was still going on. Mason and I shared a guilty look, but said nothing.

“Well?” Rose demanded again. “Did you dump Keller or not? Everyone will come to me for the ‘real’ story since I’m the designated best friend...it’d be good if I knew the story too.” She added the last part when we both still hadn’t said anything.

Mason was leaning against the car with his arms crossed while Rose was talking. Now he let out a laugh and wiped his hand across his face, which seemed like something he often did when he was worried or stressed. “Oh yea, the fight with Keller” he said from under his hand. I was still lost, and my face must have said so, because mason went on to clarify, “At the library?”

“Oh yea?” Rose repeated.

“Oh yea.” I said dumbly for a third time. I had spent the night with a different boy on my mind, and I had totally forgotten about last night’s episode with Keller.

“’Oh yea’, what’s all this ‘oh yea’ stuff?” Rose asked. Mason and I quickly looked away from each other.

“Don’t we have some place to be?” I asked

Mason took the hint, “Yea, like school or something?”

“Oh so this is a ‘we’ thing now?” Rose said gesturing from Mason to me, but just smiled and led the way into school. We hadn’t made it ten feet down the hallway when some random girl came running up to us. Mason backed away from us, and Rose stepped in front of the girl. She started whispering at an epic speed to Rose while glancing back and forth to me and the floor. I turned around and Mason looked like he was studying the cracks in the wall with particular interest.

“I’ll tell you about it later” I heard Rose say to the girl in an effort to shoo her off. It worked because she left as quickly as she ran up to us.

“See what I mean about that ‘coming to the best friend’ thing?” Rose said. She spotted Mason then and said “the three of us are commonly seen together you know,”

By now Mason had walked back of to join the group. “Try not to looking so guilty.” Rose finished. She turned her attention back to me.

“It wasn’t even like that” I said to which Rose rolled her eyes at.

“Really,” I tried again, “I saw him with someone else, and I mean that was it, it’s not like we had some elaborate and mature conversation, the girl he was with talked younger.”

“You talked to her!” Rose said

“Yea. Well no, not like that, I don’t think that she got the full story. She doesn’t know that he and I were together or anything…she was just happy that she was with him for the night, she was young.”

“Young?” Mason said with a laugh. We were juniors, so it’s not like we were old, but she was younger than us. When it came to dating she might as well have been a baby. Rose knew what I was getting at and ignored him.

“Well then, what’s the story that you want me to tell people?” She asked. This is why she was my best friend, and why I loved her so dearly. It hit me then that I could have lost her friendship permanently.

“Something reasonable.” She said after my hesitation.

I shrugged, “um, I don’t know, he cheated on me so I dumped him…nothing dramatic. Everyone should just drop it.” Rose nodded. She would pass along that it was no big deal, and hopefully this nightmare would be over within the next today. We parted then she was going to Spanish instead of French. Mason was following me, and Rose gave us a look that I couldn’t quite interpret, but is seemed like she had just figured out something that I hadn’t wanted her to know.

I went in just like normal to my normal class and started my normal day just like I normally did. But already today felt really odd.

Mason harassed me endlessly all the way till lunch with jokes and funny sorties about nothing. It seemed like I couldn’t get anything done. He too seemed so utterly normal. I hadn’t heard much talk all day long, so when me and Mason finally got released for lunch I was going to tell her what a good job she had done, and that I owed her big time. But just as we sat down with Rose the whole room erupted. Everyone suddenly had something to say, and the said it to whoever was close and would listen.

Rose looked hurt, and didn’t say anything for a long and painful few minutes. She just stared dead at me. I didn’t know what to do or say so I just looked back at her. Finally she said, “I cannot believe you.” By now she was angry and said each word like I had personally attacked her. All the noise around me faded away into a dull buzz. I tried to convey my confusion the same time the same way she did with her anger, “What do you mean.”

“Did you cheat on Keller?” she said without missing a beat still just as angry as before. I didn’t say anything. How could I? my own best friend accusing me of something so absurd. “And then ask me to lie for you?” she was yelling now, not that it was any louder than everyone else.

By now I was yelling to, “No! How can you think that, and like I would ever ask you to lie for me, really Rose? And who would I have even have cheated on him with? What would ever make you think I wanted to I liked him a lot in case you don’t remember.” I said this all together. When Rose was to the point, I always had pages to say.

“I do.” She replied quietly

I just looked at her. “So…then why would you even ask?” I was still mad and yelling but it was starting to die down. I was so confused.

“That’s what everyone told me. And that you and Mason had been hooking up last night, and have been for a while.” I just sat there. Where do people even get this stuff from? She was in regret mode now. She got closer to me and tried to pretend we had some privacy “what was I supposed to think you never said anything, and there was a lot of logic behind everything he said.”

“Logic? What logic could there have been? Who is ‘He’?”

“he said that why all his classes were changed and stuff like that”

“WHO IS HE?” I said again.

“Keller.” With a look like I was supposed to have known that. I didn’t, but I should have. I looked over to where Keller generally sat. There he was, as always. He was stilting on the table, as he commonly did, instead of the benches. He had a bunch of people around him, mostly girls, and he seemed to be relaying a very dramatic sob story. I looked back at Rose, “And you believed him?” I had so much more that I wanted to say, but I just didn’t…It seemed pointless in the moment, so I stayed quiet. Rose kept trying to apologize but I didn’t want to hear it. Instead I looked over at Mason. He was eating his lunch quietly without looking up. I shifted in my seat to try to get his attention, it looking a while but he finally looked up at me. I smiled but he didn’t.

“a lot?” he asked. I didn’t know what he meant or what he was talking about. I thought back to all the dumb stories he made up and had told me but ‘a lot’ meant nothing to me, but an undefined quantity. I just shook my head to say that what he was saying didn’t make any sense to me. He looked let down, like everything was riding on my answer, and I had let him down. He looked at me dead in the eye a bit longer, and he seemed so hurt, but I didn’t know what to say or do. I didn’t know what I had done wrong, or how to fix it. Another long few minutes passed between us, and I still hadn’t said anything. So Mason slowly stood, looking down at me the whole time, and me not saying anything the whole time. He stood there behind the bench where he had just been sitting for another few minutes. He seemed like he was pleading with me, for me to say anything at all, to have some sort of reaction. On my side everything was taking so long, but was in slow motion at the same time. And I felt so confused and numb all at the same time. Mason walked away. I didn’t go after him, and talk like a normal person. I didn’t try to have a mature conversation and figure out what was going on, what he had meant and what the night before, which seemed distant now, meant. I just sat there, confused and numb all at the same time.

Mason POV

It was the next morning at school, as I pulled into a school parking lot my eyes emdeatly fell on her. I had been thinking about her all night long, not that this was new. She looked beautiful, without even trying. Her curly hair was pulled up in the ‘messy bun’ fad, and she wore dark blue jeans with a white top. I absent mindedly wondered how long it auctally took her to get ready in the morning. if it was really effortless or just made to look that way. Then I started to wonder about her getting dressed in general. Ope, no gotta get away from that. Lilly looked like she was wrestling the car she came in, and losing poorly. It was an old, pitiful looking thing, but was obviously was once beautiful. She had her back turned to rose, who was talking animatedly, even though lily appeared to not be listening. I got out of my car and headed in their direction, I was stopped a few times to talk with other people, but my main goal was to get to the girls, and lily. I looked over to her and she was still fighting the car. I tried to act cool, but honestly whenever I got around her I was anything but. As I walked up I heard rose ask her

“so what happened last night?” lilly turned around real fast looking panicked, making it clear to all just how little she had been listening. I laughed a little to myself, why was it cute to see her all flabbergasted? She spotted me then and smiled back at me. I surrendered to that smile and went to go save her.

“this old girl sounds pretty bad” I said talking about the car.

“Yea, I’m trying to get under the hood, but I think its rusted shut” she said, swhe held out her hands to the car. She was gonna need a tetnes shot if she wasn’t careful. I gave it a try, and got lucky. I found the latch on my first try and pushed the hood up with ease, despite its protests. I smiled at her, and she rolled her eyes, but a small smile danced around the corners of her lips. Those lips…

“I heard you were also evolved in last night’s festivities, Mason” rose interuped my staring. I snapped my eyes guiltily up to meet lily’s. she looked guilty too. How did rose already know about last night. Its not like anything even happened since she thought I was gonna kill her half the time.

Then it occurred to me. Apparently I was in big trouble for stealing away keller’s girl last night. Great. I shouldn’t have gotten involved, but I remembered that look on her face when she saw that other girl with keller. I wouldn’t take it back, I just hoped she felt the same.

“Oh yea, the fight with Keller” I said. I was leaning against the car and rubbed my hand over my face and spoke with it still there. Today was going to be a long day. I looked over at Lilly, who still seemed lost.

“At the library?” I said. I took this as a good sign that she couldn’t even remember.

“Oh yea?” Rose repeated. Clearly caught off guard by our reaction.

“Oh yea.” Lily echoed as she figured what rose must have been talking about the whole time. We were just looking at each other.

“’Oh yea’, what’s all this ‘oh yea’ stuff?” Rose demanded. Lily and I broke eye contact. Was she embarrassed? Was I?

“Don’t we have some place to be?” she asked. Clearly she was uncomfortable with this line of questioning. So I swooped in to save the day. again.

“Yea, like school or something?” I said looking at rose. She returned with,

“Oh so this is a ‘we’ thing now?” pointing back and forth from me to Lily, clearly amused. She smiled and turned on her heel and started walking with out checking to see if we were following. Lily looked at me for a second which only lengthened the distance between us, and rose. She started to walk, but slowly. There were a million things I wanted to ask her,

Do you just want to skip today?

Do you want to skip with me?

How do you feel?

Are you still sad?

Did you think about me after I left last night?

Do you like me like that?

Are you going to go back to that a*****e?

How long did it take you to pick out your shirt this morning?

Do you like ice cream, because we could go get some, sometime.

I didn’t have time to ask her any of these things because some girl came barreling towards us as soon as we were in the hall. Rose took up a dominate stance, so the girl stopped, even though it was clear what her intention was. She wanted to talk to lily. I stopped short of them, and turned, trying to mentally prepare myself for this day. ‘stay cool Twan.’

“The three of us are commonly seen together you know,” rose said as I walked a little closer to them after the girl had left. I didn’t even realize that she had, or that lily was looking up at me, for what appeared to be some time. I really hoped that she hadn’t been watching me stare at the wall like an idiot.

. “Try not to looking so guilty.” Rose continued. She turned her attention back to lily.

“it wasn’t even like that.” Lily pleaded with rose, which earned her an eye role.

“really,” she said again. ““I saw him with someone else, and I mean that was it, it’s not like we had some elaborate and mature conversation, the girl he was with talked younger.”

Why was she making this out like it wasn’t a big deal? The girls continued to argue, but something struck me. just because that girl wasn’t a part of the junior class didn’t make her an infant.

“Young?” I asked said with a laugh. The girls just ignored my comment. Rose asked lily what she wanted her to start telling people. I had a few ideas about what she could say about Keller.

“um, I don’t know, he cheated on me so I dumped him…nothing dramatic. Everyone should just drop it.” Lily said. Apparently my opinion wasn’t appreciated today. Rose nodded, and lily looked at her friend with deep admiration. It was sweet. The girls said their goodbyes, as rose headed to her class. I wished that lily would hang back again, but she didn’t this time, so I just followed her to class.

While we were sitting in her favorite class, but she seemed a little down, so I tried to cheer her up. I talked nonstop. Ive never talked to anyone as much as ive talked to this girl, and it was worth it just to get her to smile at me. I kept going until I had her cracking up.

“stop mason!” she would say to me between laughs and gasps for air, holding her sides. Mission accomplished.

I thought back to all my questions that were floating in my head from earlier. I decided to go with a harmless one.

“I like your shirt.” I said to lily across the aisle. She looked up from her notes and over to me, then looked down like she wasn’t even sure of what shirt she was wearing. Well that answers that.

“thanks…” she said. She looked at the rest of her outfit, nodded to her jeans, and looked at the bottem of her shoes. She seems satisfied and went back to her notes. She was leaning forward, her hair that had fallen out of its bun falling everywhere, which she kept whacking away because she was writing on it. Her legs were spread a little, and her feet were wrapped around the outer posts of her desk. She shoes were resting on the toes. It didn’t seem comfortable, but she sat like this all the time. I had to admit, something about it was kind of a turn on. Woah, I need to stop. I need to get out of here, what time do we get out for lunch? I Iooked up at the clock. Well she should have gotten out five minutes ago. Our teacher seemed to have no intention on stopping his long winded lecture. I threw my pen down on my desk in frustration. A man has to eat! I looked over at lily, who was a master of writing without looking, she was laughing at my pain as she looked at me from the corner or her eyes, but kept writing furiously.

We were finally released for lunch 15 minutes late, and I was starving. Lily must have been too, by the way she pushed her way towards the front of the pack of kids who were, for whatever reason, not in the cafeteria yet. It occurred to me that I had been dreading this for her all day. Us, together, with all our peers. I had heard some unpleasant whispers throughout the day. Lily seemed unfazed by it all, maybe she didn’t care. Or maybe she didn’t know. I stepped in front of her, and she gave me a look like she was going to rip my head off if I denied her food for much longer before laughing at me.

“Are you hungry?” I asked stupidly. I knew that she was hungry, but maybe I could persuade her to go off campus with me, and she could avoid this whole thing. Her stomach growled then. She pointed to it and laughed.

“yes.” She side stepped to get around me, and I copied her. I was standing in front of her just like before. She giggled quietly at me, and waited for what I was going to say next. She was in such a good mood, and I didn’t want what was about to happen to ruin it. I tried again,

“do you want something to eat?” I asked. She laughed again, nodding and pointing to cafeteria doors before stepping around me and walking in. why was it so hard to ask this girl out? I sighed and followed her in. I could at least be there for her.

It was surprisingly; almost painfully quiet as we walked through the line and to our seats. Rose was already waiting. The second we sat down it was like thunder, and looked like a jungle. Everyone was practically screaming. It seemed like it took lily by surprise. She looked to Rose, who was the only person I knew who could put in a dignified fashion.

“Did you cheat on Keller?” Rose had to scream too to be heard over all the noise. “And then ask me to lie for you?” she asked Lily. This was the most ridiculous thing I think I’ve ever heard. I looked over at the table where Keller was sitting. He was in a shroud of girls, but looked dead at me and smiled smugly.

“No!” Lily was yelling back at rose, but out of anger. Rose seemed unfazed by her sudden change in mood. I wondered if it happened often, to make Rose so used to it. I knew I tormented Lily endlessly, and I had never seem her get mad.

“How can you think that, and like I would ever ask you to lie for me, really Rose? And who would I have even have cheated on him with? What would ever make you think I wanted to I liked him a lot in case you don’t remember.” Lily kept going. She didn’t talk that much, and this was kind of a big deal for me. I wished I could relish in this, new unknown to me, but apparently to Rose, side to Lily, but I couldn’t.

“I liked him a lot in case you don’t remember.”

This must have been why Keller had looked so smug. He knew how she felt, so he was going to humiliate her socially until went right back under his arm. The girls kept talking, but the rage seemed to have died down. I wasn’t really listing, something about Lily and I hooking up, which was equally as ridiculous. I was too busy drowning in self pity. Lily didn’t like me, because she was too engrossed with Keller. I made a miserable attempt to eat my lunch. It was taco day, Lily loved tacos. My life sucks right now.

I felt Lily’s eyes on me, but I tried to ignore her. She started to wiggle around, clearly trying to get me to look up. I didn’t. she stopped wiggling, and I gave in and looked up at her. She smiled at me, but I couldn’t smile back, even though I wanted to. I was so hurt right now. Her smile was growing uncertain by now.

“A lot?” I asked. I don’t know why I was torturing myself. She looked like she was thinking really hard, but came up blank. Well s**t. I thought and looked away from her. She didn’t even realize that she had said it. I looked back at her. She really was beautiful. I wish Keller appreciated that. I could feel myself just wallowing. I needed to snap out of it. I got up slowly, looking at Lily the whole time, and she looked right back at me, but said nothing. I stood there a bit longer, silently begging her to say something, but she didn’t, so I left. And I felt awful.