Melissa

The life as a model when her body is suddenly altered

        The serene woman sat down on the stool, turned her head and stared into camera. Her skin was flawless, her features bold and her charcoal-black hair had been pulled to one side of her head. The camera snapped and she didn’t blink, she had been modeling for ten years, but her recent pictures held a new, more vacant stare. For the past seven months, she had been reduced to headshots because of a car accident that had pinned her right leg under a pile of shrapnel, forcing it to be amputated. The leg that had allowed her to strut down runways, pose in upright stances and model shoes high enough to add five extra inches to her already six-foot two-inch structure, had been amputated at the nearest hospital the ambulance had rushed her to. Without her leg, her body was only deemed beautiful from the waist up, forcing her to that days photo shoot, modeling a black dress, sitting on a wooden stool.

Author's Note

This is suppose to be in a direct characterization. Please tell me if a wander from it and tell me anything I can do to make it better.

Reviews

[Sarah Hale]

Sounds great.
You're a good writer, do you intend to make it a longer story? I'd like to read it if you do.

[Larry Dyson]

to the point..succulently succinct...;)))

[~Blue Fantasy~]

Stared into "the" camera? That's the only thing I found. You did a great job. I normally am nice not harsh. So I may not be the best critic! Lol. I thought it was perfect. Thanks fo sharing! :)

[Kaitlyn Danielle]

I love the twist to it, but to me this is a good start to a story. Like a good starter paragraph or something. Even if it were a short story, I would turn that paragraph into several and also add more details. But I really like it!!!

[(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞Emmett..]

It's pretty good. I agree with the other reviewers tho, I believe there is so much more potential details that can be added, such as her emotions and feelings on having her leg amputated and her job reduced to just modeling with the waist up. Is she happy to be alive or would she rather have died in that accident due to it affecting her dreams? This short story can also be extended just a little, like you should build suspense before explaining her car crash. Make the readers think, "Why are her eyes so vacant?"
But yes, I really enjoyed reading this. I like the whole idea and If you ever make another version or edit it I'd like to reread. *o*

[G. Marie"floating on an..]

I think it's a good start to a story Would like you to describe her facial features more since the photo's are from the waste up now, we'd like to know what is appealing about a model who can only do waste up photos........ elaborate on the shape of her eyes and the color..... the nose .... the lips.... her high cheekbones .... the prominent collar bones and lovely shoulders.... just some ideas....... I know you have to cram all this in one paragraph,but there's the challenge....... try editing it a bit. it sounds like a good story though

[J.W.]

A tragic & sad tale. You're style and execution in writing could go a bit more in depth, there seems to be more to this story than you're putting out. Also you could do a little editing here and there.

[Khyrro]

Good job. You did well describing her and her story. =)

[Krystal Nicole]

A very beautiful write!!!! I absolutely loved it!! No, I didnt think you wandered.
*her body as only deemed beautiful Great diction and a great personification!!!
100/100!!!!

[Lily Mae]

You've described her story and the pain and suffering involved very well.. Very sad yet telling..xx