Sun Rise and Set

Its a poem I did for the heck of it about the sunrise and the sunset

Sunrise

 

Life revives as the sun mounts higher

Dreams unravel with the blossoms

And streaks cry outwards into the trees

 

Grass giggles with gladness

As the frost transforms to dew

Birds fly to get the wet worm

 

Scents of pine and oak tingle the nose

Newly found rays burn the eyes

And a picture of perfect harmony arises

 

Alas, time elapses with the morning’s breeze

The sun plays tag with the horizon

And sunrise merges to the sunset

 

Blues and blacks dance on reflecting water

The owl hoots watching them dance

Then everything fades to a peaceful darkness

 

Sunset

Author's Note

I guess... just tell me what you think

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

I like this poem alot ...Splendid...:)....................

[Ask Nopf]

I feel like this poem worships the day and then almost makes night seem like a villain as it takes all that beauty away, but I prefer the night, so it almost feels like it should be longer to me.
In the end, the writing is gorgeous, the flow soft and bright, like the day time, and the poem is well done. :)

[SoLongAndThanksForAllTh..]

I see this poem as being the study of a traditional subject explored in a contemporary style with a brisk, modern pace. How else could a whole day pass by in five brief stanzas?

What stood out for me most about this poem is the structure. By taking the title literally this really focuses the reader. This is a study of sunrise and sunset so there is no need to dally over the details of the day and we are quickly rushed towards nightfall as, "time elapses with the morning's breeze". Using this technique gives us just enough to connect the two halves of the poem without it seeming to be two separate poems that have somehow collided!

On the whole a nice little poem.

[Shardbearer99]

That was wonderfully envisioned and it flowed beautifully. I really liked your style of writing; it grabbed hold of me the moment I started reading. Wonderful poem

[Short.Nerd]

The imagery is great! I love this poem. you did an amazing job (:

[Writer *78*]

This has to be your best poem I have ever read. The imagery is eye popping and every line is seamingless, flowing like a gentle river stream down into the lake. I am really impressed with all of your work. I feel as I have said many times over that you have a talent that is unmatched because you make it your own original trait. Great work.

-Writer *78*

[Theodore]

very beautiful written wishing i can witness a day like this

keep the good writing alive

[Chrissy]

i enjoyed this poem i could picture clearly without adding anything of my imagination what is going on.... well except i pictured the grass with faces smiling as they defrosted .lol. it was a lovely poem very descriptive, your word use is outstanding. "Alas, time elapses with the morning's breeze"
i wish you would have elaborated more on the sunset. mentioning how the colors merge maybe, and possibly crickets creaking. stuff like that.
lovely poem though! it made me feel peaceful :)

[Irish_Ranger]

I loved the imagery in this poem. Really a fantastic job all around. This is definitely a work of sensory perception. You can literally feel all that is taking place, and it's all conveyed in a joyous, energetic fashion.

[Calypso]

I loved how hopeful this seems to be. I can almost feel the warm sunshine.