God....?

Coming to terms with being Atheist and I just wrote down what was going through my head. This was written a little over a month ago.

Tell me I haven't strayed too far

That the path I took wasn't wrong

Because backtracking isn't part of the plan

And you can't reverse the steps I've taken

But maybe with your light you can show me the road

And with your voice whisper everything untold

So is it possible to find my way?

 

Though your voice never rings true

And even if you tried it's never come through

So the question is why am I here

For you to "teach" me more

Because so crippled I am there's no hope for me to soar

 

I wouldn't know the voice of God

Even if he was screaming out my name

And I know saying that here is a shame

But I'll take it if that means my heart is true

For God I really don't know you

 

Made of love and hope

Yet I live in a world made to cope

With the screams of every day life

With the burning memories of an unwanted touch

How is it a "loving" God would put a child through

Something that stole her innocents

Her heart, her love, and her childhood

Don't tell me everything happens for a reason

Because no kid should be fighting these demons

Author's Note

I know it's not the best with rhyme and rhythm and all but it was a difficult subject for me to write about and also have it flow well

Reviews

[(Super) Heroes Never Di..]

This is so intensely relatable, its not even funny. I've been in your shoes, and I'm sure there are others who have been as well. What's helped me is seeking God outside of the bible. Yes, it is His word, but if you truly want to know love, seek something outside of something humans have touched and changed for their own benefit and agenda.
That being said, you made something not only personal, but something that has taken a snapshot of an experience that other people can see in their own lives. Everyone has their own struggles, everyone has their own way of coping. You've given everyone a piece of yourself. Every person that has read this and related is going to be moved somehow by this piece. That is an excellent mark of a writer. Good job.

[Dr. Wood ?]

I think that you got it across pretty well. there were a few forced lines but we all suffer from that; or MOST of us.....I sympathise, and empathise with all you say here

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

We all fight demons...believers and non-believers alike. We all have things that we either decide to over-come or give in to. God doesn't make our decisions, we do. That means everyone has their own decision to make, either good or bad. A lot of times people suffer from the decisions of others or their very own decisions. God is there to help us if we want it, He isn't going to make us follow Him, He isn't going to make us listen or obey...that is our decision. He wants us to come willingly and asking Him for help and following Him with love. I like to think that the people that are a greater light are those who go through hard times and over-come and encourage others to do the same. God doesn't want robots, He want's us to have free choice, and with that free choice we choose which path we want to take. At times this life is hard and we feel like breaking down, so if you ever wanted someone to talk to you can always send me a message.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

There are missing pieces to what we learn about God, esp through Christianity. He isn't to blame for loss of innocence. There is more to this life than we'll ever know. Splendid read and write. I empathize with how you feel. I once lost faith.

[Hardcore Charles]

I think that it describes what an Atheist thinks of very well especially the part about everything happens for a reason but still bad things happen. Very good poem.

[sheila.j]

Thank you! And yeah I think everyone at some point, atheist or not, thinks about what happens for a reason yet horrible things still happen

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Questions are the avenues of the soul... the right of passage... is there a meaning to all of this rubbish called life... If you factor the existence of the fabric of your being... can you say that if you do not breathe... and hold it in... something inside you will let go... and make you exhale... Of course... you're at an age when doubt comes into play... perfectly normal... In time that will come to pass and give you the direction for which you seek... the meaning of life... and the whole truth will be a picture not a puzzle of pieces in a box already assembled... once you put them altogether...