Falling

Relief calls to me, its voice soothing, luring me into our routine. It’s been awhile since we last talked, since the last time Relief met my skin, and when the hot sting pricks at me, I know this is right. The very feeling of warmth, as if saying “Trust me, we’ll make you better.” Trust is exactly what I do. They lead me deeper in with each new word, farther into my state of calm. With a last stroke from relief, I find the absolute peace I ache for, and I relax as the warm river flows to a stop. I know now, that this is it, falling into the voices. 

Reviews

[M. Kier McCarey]

This should be performed as spoken word, with the soft pitter-patter of bongo drums playing. Its certainly interesting, by itself however.

[Ohhhwillow]

Is the capital on the word relief intentional? If so, I like it, personification creates an intimate link with language, this may work well as a poem, this reads smoothly, perhaps be slightly more descriptive, I'd love to know the exact emotions your character is feeling, wether that be yourself or another. :)

[Mark Anthony Games (Hum..]

I agree with Kyle sky mostly. Think this piece can have a greater effect depending on the narrator. A good actor could take this to places that will shake a soul to pieces. Great job

[Kyle Sky]

This is good. Although, i think it would be much better as a monologue by a certain character than an actual story. But i have to say that i admire the intensity of the mood in such a short write. That is one characteristic of the story you should be proud of.

[Mr.Cardigan]

i like it all over jk but it is awesome