dear undeniable,

a letter to a lover

dear undeniable,

i want to tell you that im head over heels

and this way i feel is new to me

so fresh

im disecting

each moment of our existance

my desire is overwhelmingly strong and persisitant

to reach out to you like ive done so many times before

would leave me vunerable

and not knowing whats in store is too much

but

your touch

sets me free

that soft tingle between a dream and reality

and i remember feeling high

the last time

you lifted me up against the wall and proceeded to liquify my body, and once you came to complete your work of art you stepped back to frame me out

and

i said

i love you

i wasnt afraid then

but now i am again

and im not usually this forward of a girl

I have a tendancy to be a little shy

but youve caught more than my eye

and to tell you this physical emotion would be taking the easy way out

im filled with doubt

in my ability

to describe wat your eyes and smile mean to me

its hard to bring perfection to reality

but i want to tell you in a way that means more than i can say

so i write to you today

my love bleeding this pen dry

you are

who I

love.

 

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

Oh this is so nice ,great and lovely,how you describe,the falling...
Undeniable,want to tell I am head over heels..my desire so strong to reach out..
would leave me so vulnerable,not knowing whats in store..your touch sets me free
I remember feeling high,like last time you picked me up against the wall,my body did liquify
I am filled with doubt ,if ever able to tell about your eyes and your smile,means lots to me
Oh such loveliness all way through..
lovely write..

[_////---Elektrik Phanto..]

that was perfect. i relate to the feelings all too well. and the metaphors and subtle nudges of multiple meanings are done nicely. thanks!

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

Beautifully written and I see traces of your girl Sonia all through the piece!
Great visuals, great romantic depth and feeling. Great write!

[April Child]

Well captured, a stream of consciousness from mind to pen to page, as if the words came tumbling without being contrived.

"you lifted me up against the wall and proceeded to liquify my body" Great line, sums it up for me.

If I were to make one small suggestion it would be to remove the word "but" from a couple of places, I don't think you need it. Other than that, lovely!