day seventeen.

Actually, the first one I wrote.

day seventeen.

1:46 a.m.
i went to the beach tonight.
no one was there.
well, unless you include the drunks that stumbled away into their truck and
drove off.

it was cold, but i didn't notice until after my fingers were already numb.

the water looked dark.
i wanted to go under but it was too cold and i couldn't bring myself to do it.
maybe one day i'll be strong enough to let the cold take over.
until then, i'll use the bathtub.

my mom is always asking why i'm taking such long baths.
i tell her it relaxes me.
thank god she doesn't know how fast my heart is racing when i stop breathing under the foamy suface.

Marie