Please hand me the phone

My window is getting smaller,
My time is running low,
If i don't man up and call her,
I guess I'll never know
But if I never find it,
The courage that it takes
I wont risk the chance of hurting
Or be lost when my heart breaks
I did that once you know
I made that dreadful call
It was so very long  ago
I gained then lost it all
I felt like such a fool
I gave it all I had
I feel like such a tool
Man she did me bad
Its been four long years now
Its getting close to five
So long I don't remember how
Or if inside I'm still alive
I guess I am growing tired
Of feeling all alone
In loneliness I'm mired
I better get the phone

Reviews

[KAOlmsted]

And so you pick the lesser of the two evils: the loneliness or the possible rejection. I like that you chose the possible rejection, as it's also possible acceptance. Loneliness is concrete. Nothing subtle or insinuating about that. It just is. Very good write. Thanks for sharing it with us.

-kimmer

[AYVID N]

No risk no gain...
Very well expressed here.

[clairekeown25]

this is great,so easy to read and a message so many of us can empathize with, great

[Holly Mason]

like this much thank you

[Reeti]

The concept of your verse is intriguing. What i've enjoyed most in reading it are the rhyming quality, and the distance kept between the narrator and his lover for some reason or another. Having the phone as the medium of communication between the two lovers indicates the latter. The consequences from not staying in touch with the female sex have been clearly and realistically shown. Women (or at least most women including myself) do not take it lightly when their respective lovers do not stay in touch with at crucial or prime moments of their lives. Subjectively, i comprehend from the poem, and in reality, that women are sentimental when it comes to communing with their beloveds, especially, if they are far away from each other.

[Geon Quuin]

It's a very good write. I really like it.

[Belator Books]

The title of this piece is fantastic. Few few things are as interesting as the seemingly ordinary event--dialing a phone--which turns out to lead a life down another path than they were on before. Despite the deceptively juvenile overtone of the rhyme scheme, there is a very masculine depth to this piece, one that most guys could probably relate to. Shakespearean sonnets have their purpose in theater---or inspiration--but in real life the simply-spoken confession of regret is rare a thing of beauty.

[Sami Khalil]

So long I don't remember how
Or if inside I'm still alive
I guess I am growing tired
Of feeling all alone
In loneliness I'm mired.
My faves in this nice well written poem...:)

[CURETONTAX]

:,(

[Circe]

this is so sincere and emotionally wrought... the pain you carry.. it weighs heavily and is felt through and through, great piece of writing.. I love the use of "mired" too, don't see that too often, thanks for sharing this one.