Novocaine

Haven't written in a long, long time.

This my cry for help

That will never be heard

It's only letters on paper

Unspoken, silent words

This is my cry for love

That will go unseen

For who could ever love

An awful waste like me?

This is my cry for friends

To help me off the ground

Friends are overrated--

They've always pushed me down

This is my cry for joy

I don't want to pretend

I'm sick of giving excuses

I want the s**t to end

This is my cry for help

I'm looking at the fall below me

I'm standing on the edge

I just can't do this anymore..

This is my cry for you

To help me beat this pain

To catch me before I fall

Into this sleep, this novocaine 

Reviews

[Nobody.]

:)
Well, Rabbit,
sometimes it seems like everything is covered in poisonous thorns....like everything is corrupt and vile. hell, sometimes, everything is. lol!

I like the poem. it flows like a nursery rhyme, and hits like an atomic bomb!

But, don't let the b******s drag you down!
shrug em off and walk on!

and keep the good poetry coming!

Cheers!

[Darius]

I enjoyed this alot. The darkness of your poems are just freaking awesome!!!

[Lost]

~LOVE!~

The title and ending is superb!

[Alana McGuire]

I liked this. :) It flows well and it's totally relatable.

[Liza]

the word novocaine captured my attention because my close friends have all agreed that i get to the root of matters without the use of anaesthesia; you have also dug into the core or root of pain that seems to want to distance the discomfort from fears of being cast out or infecting another but still wishing to inflict another from falling into a numb state - needing connection.

A poem about a poem that seems almost self-confessional and then it goes into a more destructive like force bearing down on the writer calling out with a plea... It's very Shakespearean without all the fancy words (dramatic, stage presence, plus monologue = good old school).
Personally I'm not a big one of self-confessional narrations, but did find this one rather appealing in the structure, mainly in the first line in each stanza which starts as a repeating opening phrase with a differing subject to translate each of the next few lines... I find that to be a marvel within this poem along with the steady flow/beat.
Of course, along with any praise must come criticism, only in an effort to help and constructive to your means of writing... anywho, possibly the only word that was "exotic" within this poem was "novocaine" which sticks out like a sore thumb to speak figuratively... what the problem here is word-displacement (inappropriate placing), by using "everyday words" throughout the entire poem, you've created a distraction or unbalanced reaction to the ending by using an "exotic" term such as "novocaine"... One could reference as this being a good thing, but although keeping a flow is a primary objective within poetry, inappropriate word usage can also throw a poem off entirely. A possible ailment to remedy this is to pick up on more fancy words, like "adequate" or "reservoir" etc. and placing them about within your poems so that words that are appealing to your liking like "novocaine" become easily placed and flow along within the poem... Word Placement is a hard thing to get good at, it's more of a talent you'll grab with word variety and working hard at. I can't really recommend much more other than that...
Overall, I really enjoyed this ^_^ I'll definitely have to give this one a 98/100. Wonderful job and keep up the good work.

[LivingDeath]

Stop writing about my life geeze. Be original and write about your own for once lol. This was awesome. A few errors through out the piece but thats alright. Some spots went a little off flow but over all the message of this poem really hit me because it is exactly what I am going through right now. I'm talking to this one girl on skype right now, I think you may know her very well. Shes who Im wishing for. Who Im hoping can answer my cries. Because to be honest. That girl is you. I'm here for you elli. I always will be.