So F*****g Dumb

emotional venting.

I'm so stupid.
How can I do this to myself?
I get so addicted.
Even when there's something else
To keep me breathing.

So f*****g dumb.
Why does that anger me?
Godd****t, I'm so dumb.
Why do I let him get to me?
When every chance he's been given, he f***s up?

So many questions.
Why do I get so eager?
Why do I let him sweet-talk me?
Why can't I accept that his perfection,
His sweetness,
Is a lure? A lie? A mask? Manipulative.
Whether he knows it or not.

F**k!
I did it again!
Why do I let myself fall for this!
I know he's manipulative
Why can't I stay away?
It's like a magnet
I know it's not meant to be,
But when will my heart learn?

I keep looking at my phone,
Like it's going to ring,
Like he still has my number,
Like he still cares
Why do I care if he cares?
F**k, why do I care in general?
F**k this.
But it's too late.
I don't know how to ignore him anymore.

He tore my walls apart
A long time ago.

Author's Note

Fuck you. You know who you are.
And I had better not get a message about this.

Reviews

[.]

I know this feeling. Some of out biggest hates can also be powerful securities that keep us near the negativity that we've come to despise. It makes me wish sometimes that I could just blink and make the entire event vanish. The left over addictions are almost as bad as the tragedy that made them possible.
I offer you hugs!

Kisses - Ash

[Collect-Eye]

You're letting him affect your poetry
you're a better writer than this

and also
he only has the power over you that you give him.

situations like this are like bad food giving you diarrhea..you can sit in the room and savor the smell of you can flush it and spray it w/ lavender and walk away

it doesn't feel like you have a choice but you do. You think it'll last forever, but trust me when I tell you, it goes away. If you had the love of your life, that's be a dif story, but you're just lamenting and holding onto what you THOUGHT you had

at this point, it's on you

basically if he's a manipulator..why the f**k care? I mean seriously, think about it. it's really retarded

I know you're just venting, but those are my two cents anyway..I know people who it's all they talk about for months

Whenever I needed to lament, I used isolation and reflection..it's the far superior way.

I've been to the depths of Hell many times for many reasons, but you find your way back..