Otis

Otis my dear, if you're here, watch
me as i write, and guide this pen
across this paper...
My darkness closes in on me.
I feel alone in this hell.
There's silence everywhere,
no one to talk to, no one
that would understand me.
So master, i say control
me... Not all the time,
but most of all the time.
When you escape me
leave nothing but memories
and scars. Remember to trap
my heart so far out of
this wasteland, so it can
be protected from being hurt.
So when someone asks me,"don't you have a heart?'
I reply,"No i gave up on it a long time ago." Feed
my soul to our brothers and sisters.

Reviews

[ImagineItAll]

I must say, I am very surprised that someone as young as you can write like this. This was very, very good. The way you talk about pain is wonderful. This was very creative: "So master, i say control
me... Not all the time,
but most of all the time.
When you escape me
leave nothing but memories
and scars. Remember to trap
my heart so far out of
this wasteland, so it can
be protected from being hurt."

Keep it up!

[Akemi Polino]

Thank you so much! It means alot

[Coffee Vampier]

Beautifully written, its very captivating. I have often felt this way myself while writing, or even reading for that matter. Just an escape and a way to beg for freedom.

[Akemi Polino]

indeed it is

[Dr Ayaz chandio]

very touching,,,,and beautifully written as well.i truly appreciate the way..great job..keep it up.

[LetMeLaughLetMeSing]

Wow! You're my age and yet you're so talented with your writing. I look up to you. :) Keep writing, ok? Fantastical write!

[Akemi Polino]

Thank you so much! Im glad you liked it. Keep in touch with me ill be putting more up soon. I hope to hear more from you

[Dragon]

Wow. Great poem. I like the words you use on this. It sounds very dangerous and dark of the soul and the flow of it is great. Love the writing. Great work. :)

[Jeremy Baker]

Age is no precursor to writing with authority on matters of the heart - this is a very good poem, well structured and striking just the right note in terms of atmosphere. Well written!

[Akemi Polino]

Much appreciated !

[Steph K]

Dark, deep and sensual. Great job.

[Larry Dyson]

hmmm stranger in a strange land.. main character in Heinlens book...
"So when someone asks me,"don't you have a heart?'
I reply,"No i gave up on it a long time ago." Feed
my soul to our brothers and sisters."

[Akemi Polino]

Heinlens book?

[shadow night]

see the problem is i pictured Death Note. i feel like i should picture a person i dont know. but none the less i like it and i think if i didnt know what Deth Note was i would imagine some random person i didnt know. i like the details and pain bravo. ^_^ cant wait to read more as well as your young and did this. cant wait to see what you can do in a few years. ^_^

[Akemi Polino]

Thank you so much! Im now 17! I havent posted much but i will get back on it soon! I have a lot written but school and friends have been getting it the way of my time. (= Keep in touch with me

[TJ]

Twisted and morbid but beautiful at the same time. Asking that you e controlled ad that your heart e taken just to avoid the loneliness.
Very good

[Akemi Polino]

Thank you (=

[London]

nicely done

[Akemi Polino]

I know right (: thanx