I continue

Why am I my own worst enemy?

We all do this. We say such horrible things to ourselves 

We wouldn't even think to say to someone else.

And balance of fault is such a delicate thing, it's impossible to figure out what's the blame.

The habits or the illness? The limitations or the fear?

The world, or our perception?

And I, having depression, ponder this very intensely. With the same, 

Intensity as one would ponder the meaning of life.

For having an illness that only exists in your mind,

Leaves little room to compartmentalise.

And the war that is persistently constant between You, and the invasive thoughts takes a heavy toll, 

One that not surprisingly leaves you feeling utterly insane and alone.

 

But my question is why...

Why in knowing this, I continue.

Reviews

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Depression is a war with self, as you explain from experience and knowledge. I have had to deal with it most of my life. I've had to deal with suicide attempts and the crushing weight of anxiety so strong I didn't get out of bed for weeks. With such a strain on my mind I couldn't even think. I've been fortunate enough to find a bit of comfort in writing. It is by no means a solution but it does help me personally. Thank you for sharing your words with us.