the struggle of the mind

How do you deal with a mind that lies to you?

That takes over your thoughts whenever you’re weak and vulnerable 

That comes in waves you can never expect,

Strangling you until you can’t breath 

How do you deal with a mind that confuses you?

That becomes so loud that every word is echoed, drowning out all logic 

That crowds you, ready to argue every good thing you ever thought about yourself, 

Ready to argue every hope you every had, 

Every time you believed a person when they said that they loved you 

Do you scream until your voice is lost?

Curse every time you’ve gone unseen and unheard 

Get paralysed with the shame of every heart wrenching cry, alone in a bedroom, doors locked 

A window too close 

Do you beat yourself up for losing control?

Wondering how your mind is your greatest enemy 

Do you get angry at all the times you got lost, and felt powerless?

Feel like you never had a chance at breaking through 

Start to believe you were stupid to think you’d ever come out on the other side,

Better 

Stronger 

And those words don’t exist

You know darkness

Pain 

Always fighting with a mind out to destroy you 

How do you win?

I’d like to know

Author's Note

'depression is real, and it sucks' - anonymous

Reviews

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

You win by letting go. You've taken a big step by revealing these frailties you have in writing. That is very brave. Think about what you have just accomplished. You put your thoughts down into written words and published them here for the whole world to see. If that isn't a brave act then I don't know what is. Now all you need to do is keep writing, keep being brave. You are young and filled with a torrential storm of emotion. Tap into that to create your art. Make it your muse, your inspiration. Others who are going through the same angst will see the value of your words because you are speaking to them as one who understands. Not like some condescending old boomer. But a young strong voice who has been where they are in emotion. Keep writing and you will inspire them to find their own voice and conquer their own demons that hold them back. I enjoyed this work of yours so please keep writing.

[Caroline B A Maguire]

I've had the echoing thoughts too..when I've thought my I had lost control of my thoughts and I would lose it all..but you don't and you won't.. I've felt the anger and lived in the darkness and I feel every single word you have written here like I wrote it meself 30 years ago ..the only thing at times that got me through was the voice in my head..yes I heard voices too..that once told me to "Never give up" and that voice I listened to and I kept ploughing on through until eventually the sun peeked out again..it will for you too...I.promise..I love your work by the way..its so real..I hope it helps you to write..keep it up my friend. Xo

[sharleenm]

Thank you so much, everything you’ve shared about you experience means a lot. Thanks for the compliment as well

[Caroline B A Maguire]

Im glad I can help. Anytime.xo

[Mao Swan]

This is a nice poem. It reminded me about a few things I have faced myself.

[sharleenm]

Thank you for sharing that with me

[sharleenm]

If I was someone you loved, what would you say?

[emmajoy]

' How do you win? - - - -- I’d like to know '

You've answered your own finely written question - what you feel is an admission that to date you've not felt able to answer. But, dear girl, look and see the remedy you have given Self as if the best counsellor ever! You have laid yourself out in the most articulate and beautiful of words.. superb words and set yourself the finest example: ' .. I can express my doubts and by doing that can dilute them. Look at me, Me, Myself.. look what I can do - look what I have done! '

You are a self-made Olympian!

[sharleenm]

when you put it that way i am a self-made Olympian,
thank you

[emmajoy]

Please remember that. Take care, keep safe and keep in touch. :)