Not me...

The week has past

Quick like weeks before

     I keep dreaming and writing

               searching and sighing

Still nothing to show

     Only scribbles on pages

     Like expressions on faces

Of people in passing cars.

 

Here with myself

No one to wake me

     I keep hiding and reading

               feeding and sleeping

Someone please shake me

     To open my eyes

     To blue summer skies

Before I fade away.

 

Nowhere to go

Maybe I do it on purpose

     I keep screaming and sinking

               dying and drinking

A total disservice

     To everything I am

     And all things I'd planned

Not who I meant to be.

Author's Note

The overall feeling strikes me as a bit elementary, probably because it was all too common in my youth, but it still creeps up now and again...

Reviews

[LL]

Everyone has a purpose in life. A true perfect path to trod. Finding that purpose and walking in that path will bring you the best peace and the best happiness. These treasures are found when we search diligently for them. I enjoyed your poem, great job!

[hoyt]

Very good poem. It flows so smoothly and is very lyrical. It is also wonderful how it provokes thought,, gently but deeply as well. Great job.

[~amanda~]

i love the way you write. it is pure magic! you really are a captivating writer! thank you so much for sharing!

[Gus McFarland]

Great style. I like how you formatted the lines, it ads to the feeling - I think. The Passion in the way this is written, brings what you felt as you wrote this to life. Good job!

Gus

[Thomas B. Buckman]

I really like this.

[Man-Alive!]

Do you play an instrument? I ask because this poem strikes me as being lyrics. "Rain" seems to have picked up on this, too. I'm curious what you mean by elementary? Simplicity can be deceiving, you know ;^)

[An owl on the moon]

Such a beautiful, soft flow to your thoughts with such vivid expressions: "Only scribbles on pages like expressions on faces of people in passing cars." Wonderful insightful words...

[Lauren Beth]

I think the feeling is everything but elementary :) I really love this piece...I can definitely feel the emotion and pain and I can definitely relate. It has a nice flow and rhythm to it, I truly enjoyed it, nice piece!

[Fra/c/ture]

i dont know about elementary. maybe the structure is basic if youre being critical but it still worked alright for me. the part of the poem where things really cinched tight and i had some personal connection was the last stanza. i think everyone has gone through times in their life with too much drinking, self-killing, wallowing, just tearing down of who you want to be.

you nailed that.

[Sean]

I like the way this one is structured. It's quick-paced but with lots of information condensed...like condensed soup! sort of... Thanks for writing, its my pleasure.