stars or not...

I think this is pretty self explanitory. I wrote this about my gramma who has cancer.

                         when you were well enough to nap on the couch

i'd sit in the kitchen and watch you sleep

hoping that you wouldnt notice when you woke

all the tears streaming down my cheeks

i used to wish on falling stars for you

asking god for 10, no 20 more years

i was young and that seems like eons ago

but stars or not i'm thankful you're still here

my bones ache to know that you're dying inside

slowly crumbling without any control

day after day, year after year you find strength

but for me, watching you only wrecks my soul

i try to hide the anguish

that lies constantly beneath my surface

because being here when you need me

is the only time i feel i have a purpose

in life, there is only one inevietable consequence

and sometimes i wonder if you're afraid

but i refuse to ask because i am terrified

i'm just too scared of what you might say

history has a way of repeating itself

and two decades ago, you were right here

half of your husbands body left paralyzed

and i never saw you sneak one tear

sometimes i just want to crawl into your bed

and just be next to you while i cry

hold your hand and tell you i love you

and you could tell me that it'll all be just fine

but instead i fall apart

in places where no one will see

cuz i learned from you to have a heart

and how to leave it off my sleeve

 

Reviews

[Rain]

Very touching. Such beautiful words for a person it's obvious you love so much. I hope you forgive this advice, but "never" leave anything unsaid. I don't care what she says, for your peace of mind...say it all now. I would certainly let her read this.
This is so moving, I would rewrite to take the lines out. They distract from the feelings. Rain..