Hara Kiri - (200 word story)

Is death the only answer?

Vaishnavy opened the balcony door only after repeated raps from her mother.

“What were you doing outside? Why was the door latched up?”

The girl broke down before her mother, fell onto her knees wailing her lungs out. Her mother kneeled beside her and embraced her.

“Mamma, I feel I might commit hara-kiri. It’s like something’s gotta hold on me.”

“What is wrong my angel? Is it thoughts about Chetan again? You need to compose yourself and move on. He is watching over you from above, and I’m sure he wouldn’t like to see you suffer this way.”

“Mamma, it’s a voice in my head, asking me to jump off. If you hadn’t knocked on the door...”

Her mother held her daughter’s face delicately, “Listen, you will get through this. Life will throw much worse at you as you grow older, but I will be with you through it all and I am sure he will be with you in spirit as well.”

That night Vaishnavy slept in peace for the first time in two months. She kept her ears pressed against her mother’s chest, listening to her subtle heartbeats. She knew she was protected by the divine light of her mother’s love.

The End  

Author's Note

This is to address the growing suicide rates in India; Though the underlying causes of suicide can be deep-seated mental repressions and unaddressed illnesses. The trigger for the act itself can be something as trivial as loss of a lover. However, it is irrational and insensitive to take ones life for the same, simply because we are not doing justice to our parents/ relatives/ friends who have taken the pain to raise us/ love us; we need to turn to them for support and not believe that we are alone, because, in reality, we are not.

Reviews

[DiskartetHaraya]

Suicide is a serious matter. It is a topic that people hear of globally. However, many still have misconceptions about it. If the cause of suicide is depression or other mental illness, for instance, it is not just because of one factor such as the loss of a lover. The protagonist here is fortunate, first because there is someone to guide her, second because she listened. We all get it. Death is terrible. So we become confused when someone does it to themselves. So make sure to be there for someone. Don't make them feel ashamed. Help them. If you can't, listen without judgement.

[Ashwin Shanker]

You have made a very valid point and I have edited my note accordingly, thank you for your views.

[DiskartetHaraya]

You are a responsible and concerned writer. Thank YOU for that.

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing story written.
"That night Vaishnavy slept in peace for the first time in two months. She kept her ears pressed against her mother’s chest, listening to her subtle heartbeats. She knew she was protected by the divine light of her mother’s love. "
The above wonderful and kind. Thank you for sharing the amazing story.
Coyote

[KWP]

A great little story - although it felt funny reading hara-kiri in an Indian story - is this term used often (or at all) over there?

I like how you have written this piece in such a short space, I feel however what the mother says to bring her mind away from such a terrible act needs to be stronger - it all seems a bit easy if you know what I mean.

Saying that, I did very much like the way you finished the story - something about the word divine works with Hinduism (and yes, that is my assumption they are Hindu)

'Her mother kneeled beside her and embraced her."

This line can be edited - words not needed there.

I like reading a story of this length - thank you X

[Ashwin Shanker]

I completely agree with your critique that the mother's line needs to be stronger. But I can't think of stronger line.. hehe... GReat point...

No... Hara Kiri is Japanese and its not used here, but the girl in the story is well versed with the world and preferred to use another word than just "suicide" or "kill Myself"...

Knowing your fascination for our culture, I would like you to have a look at this poem of mine

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/shankerashwin66/1822293/

Its one of my favourite poems and it has many elements that will give you a peek through the window of our culture. Welcome

[Samuel Dickens]

A hopeful ending--wonderful. If only love could pull everyone back from the brink of disaster. Worldwide, there seems to be a degrading the value of human life. It is madness. Let us do our best to give hope to the hopeless.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you so much Samuel, I discovered your writing and loved the poem that u wrote. Please write more. And do browse through my works and help me with constructive feedback. Have a good day

[Pragati Chaudhary]

Yeah! exactly it's a ditch to those who actually love us!
Lovers come and go....They arent to be taken seriously :D Lol

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you very much pragati