The Insomniac

What will you dream, when you can't sleep?

Joseph loved to dream, but he had a tough time falling asleep each night.

He would lie wide awake, looking at the white ceiling above him. He stared at the pattern of fading colour. He kept staring, night after night, till he noticed cracks appear, and then widen. Sometimes he stared till the first rays of dawn. He gave up alcohol and caffeine, tried podcasts and endless hours of hypnotism tracks, even rubbed his belly in circular motions. Nothing worked.
One night he thought of a simple idea - running up and down the fire escape stairs of his building till he exhausted himself to sleep.

He started running up the stairs in his shorts and vest.  Though it was midnight, a crowd had gathered near the terrace door, looking for a burglar who had just run out from the fire exit. Within seconds, they chased after him; and at the blink of an eye, he slipped, fell through one of the windows, and lay fallen to the cemented pavement.

Joseph loved dreaming, because it never dawned until he opened his eyes in shock, only to realise a dream that simply never was.

The ceiling above was uniform & spotless.

Author's Note

Do Comment on what you liked and what can be improved.

Word count: 200 words (exact)

Cheers

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed this story. I liked the surprise ending. You did very well with this tale. Thank you Ashwin for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[jawillford]

I'm amazed at how much depth you can put into something only 200 words in length. It keeps it short and sweet but you feel like you just read an entire story. Good Job!I am only working on a book right now, but I'll give you a request to read more of you stories sometime!

[sansrity sinha]

Excellent! loved the twist!!
truly enjoyed reading this.. Thanks for sharing
well done !

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you for the review Sansrity

[Ruth]

Unexpected brilliance :) I never saw that coming, partly because of the dream like manner this is told in also :) Pulled at my heart and left a mark, awesome :)

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you for the review Poppy

[Anjali]

Brilliant plot twist at the end. Amazing story in exact 200 words. 👌👌👌👌👌

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you for the review Anjali :D.. Thrilled and Glad.

[Tony Jordan]

Super twisty write Ashwin.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you for the review Tony

[pia]

omg this was AMAZING !!!
i always love it when the plots are tied together in a story. it gives an organised outlook to the story itself. you wrote this in a very nice way.
kept me involved the whole time.
a little suggestion would be
to
1. add more details to the part where hes running up the stairs. give more imagery so a reader can feel as if they r there in that scene. how did he manage to fall out a window. a lil bit of spoon feeding so as to visualize it so that it leaves an impact.
2.'He started running up the stairs in his shorts and vest itself'
the word ' itself' is unnecessary. 'He started running up and down the stairs wearing his shorts and his vest'

hope this could help
i really enjoyed the dept in this story
well done !!

[Ashwin Shanker]

There was a word limit of 200 words so I was a bit crunched on where I can provide details and where I can't. But I do note your point.

[Ghania]

Whoa!
"Joseph loved dreaming, because it never dawned until he opened his eyes in shock, only to realize a dream that simply never was."

Interesting plot!! *claps*
I wonder if I will ever be able to like twists like that? Lol.
Best wishes! :)

[Ashwin Shanker]

Did you mean that you will never be able to write twists?

[Ghania]

Actually, I love reading plot with twists. But I haven't come up with one. Ha ha. Still waiting. Thoughts and thoughts. But ain't able to note them down properly yet.:))))

[Ashwin Shanker]

U should find time for it. No excuses

[Ghania]

Oh, Thanks!! Will do. *No excuses* :)

[Pragati Chaudhary]

I must say

Faaaaduuuuuuu ;)

The way you had centered this and glued this till the end
Mesmerizing!

:D
KEEP IT UP

[Ashwin Shanker]

Glad to know that you loved it Pragati.

[Kaylee April]

cool story. I like the twist.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you Kaylee for the review. glad you liked it