Cost of a line of poetry

What does it take to write a line of poetry?

As the pen hangs delicately

Over the paper sheet

Paused, like the wheels of

An aeroplane set to land

 

I question, cross-check and

Verify my thoughts

As if a crash is imminent

If something goes out of hand

 

I wish we realise and recognise

Writing as a set of complex calculations

It is words and not numbers

That is added, subtracted, divided

Else the reader is misguided

 

Thus, each word eventually penned

Is weighed a tonne for its worth, my friend

There is no use of obscenity, rhetoric

Or anything tough to comprehend

 

 

Such confines, our art is often subjected to

In the end, it’s consumed by a chosen few

But why clutch the reins of my mind so tight

I wonder why I so easily give up without a fight

 

Thus before you all, it is this oath that I take

That I shall sacrifice nothing for the art that I make

 

Let my writing be of my own voice

Un-modulated, unrestricted or repressed

Expressed from its deepest core

Unwilling to bend to any critics’ sharpened sword

 

A voice, louder than a lion’s roar

I shall prove once and for all

That the pen is indeed mightier than the sword

Reviews

[Brett Hernan]

I liked this poem, particularly the imagery of the aeroplane landing upon the page, so loaded with thoughts, that the pilot (author) under gravity is sometimes forced to guesstimate the impact and might leave a mark upon the runway, which might as well be, for all intensive purposes simply strokes upon the piles of other rough landing skid marks. (Entering a library and just looking at a single shelf to me is a great ego leveler!)

This poem says exactly what it does, speaking with a true and determined voice about the psychological approach to the process of writing. In that alone it has great value.
As a writer, I can relate to it.

My only criticism would be that possibly the division of a few concepts which currently comprise one line might add to the dramatic timing of a piece so full of vigour that if separated into a greater number of shorter lines, which would allow, during the transition in that millisecond of human eye reset time where a concept is absorbed and the next is set up below it for immediate consumption in an=, 'rapid fire' manner, thus enhancing the poignant impact of each individual line. I believe that this piece would really lend itself well to a faster pacing of that type.

As with all constructive criticism, it is important not to try to sell your idea too strenuously, (as I inadvertently, have just done!)

Highly personally interesting to me, was that this poem highlights both the contemporary dilemma and the incredibly amazing, new opportunity bestowing abilities that poets and writers have been equipped with, in our contemporary historical period, by the introduction of, effectively, instantaneously ready access to a digital printing press which auto-publishes to a potential global audience, thus equipping any author's output with an even greater status than even they might traditionally have felt could have been given them by an actual, physical, paper-bound volume, established publishing house-issued version of their work, because it has virtually a universal accessibility to the entire global population, (those who can afford bandwidth, and aren't currently running for their lives, that is).

This, I saw expressed in your stanza,

'Thus before you all, it is this oath that I take

That I shall sacrifice nothing for the art that I make



Let my writing be of my own voice

Un-modulated, unrestricted or repressed

Expressed from its deepest core

Unwilling to bend to any critics’ sharpened sword.'

That's it there, exactly. The chant of the freedom to refuse any interested party a say. A total freedom of self expression and complete editorial control opposing any muting of that expression. It's honesty to one's self which makes or breaks an artist. We've honestly gone forward.

The requirements for publication in other web poetry sites, with or without attached print editions, or the submission guidelines for most substantively paying poetry contests, often state that 'any work of previously self-published poetry online is declined a valid entry status', and you'll find your works also often disqualified from inclusion for consideration because they just don't want to encourage a new way, threatening to the old modal form and endorse a revolutionary, completely free artistic expression publication modality, because its very presence powerfully endorses it own absolute state of accessibility, and this illustrates that it easily supercedes that which was, previously, traditionally for centuries, the mainstay of the status quo.

This poem for me expressed and evoked these sentiments perfectly, and valiantly.

Thank you for the opportunity to review it and to follow this train of thought to a crystallisation of an idea which previously may not have been by me realised.

[Ashwin Shanker]

I don't think anyone else would have written such an exhaustive review... Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts with me...
I am keen to read your reviews for other works of mine

[Brett Hernan]

Many thanks Ashwin.
I am glad you found it helpful. I admire your passion.
I am privileged to be able to examine both your works and those of anyone else kind and brave enough to put on public display, their writing.
I find it fascinating, but unfortunately I am rarely able to take time to write many reviews, at all, ever, Though I very much wish to. As you have noted, I try to thoroughly explain my interpretation of a work.
Six arms and a third head would be useful right now!

[Ashwin Shanker]

Wish we all had six arms and three heads... I would give an arm and a leg for that :P

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I believe poetry is an expression of the soul. It is the music in our hearts that we write the lyrics to. So that it becomes our song and no other song ever before of after is the same. Each song is crafted with love and courage; with insight and deliberation. And every feeling therein is true so that the poet becomes part of the poem and the reader becomes a visitor in the poet's mind; in the poet's heart and soul. Those hallowed halls walked by the eyes of every visitor should bring joy and peace and revelation. At least that is my ideal...my hope for my own work. I believe it is in creation that we become most like gods and fulfill our uttermost beauty as human beings.

[Anshuman Aryav]

Wow!! It is unbelievable.....amazing....
I love the last three lines.....
"A voice, louder than a lion’s roar
I shall prove once and for all
That the pen is indeed mightier than the sword"
outstanding....
Keep writing..

[Zoya]

More like a tribute to the art of writing. Very well expressed. Enjoyed it!

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you Zoe

[Zoya]

No problem

[Barbara Walker]

Great rhymes, good flow. Your love of writing is apparent. My favorite part is the fourth stanza, especially " or anything tough to comprehend." I don't care for enigmatic writing, so we are in agreement on that!

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you very much Barbara for this review. Would love to hear more from you.

[Soundz]

Great flow! It also draws great emotion.
The structured necessity so many people think characterizes poetry is one reason why so many of the greatest will remain timeless (AKA...it looks easier than it is).
Always understand that one must learn a craft before they can use it to express themselves.
I would greatly appreciate an opinion on any of my works if you have time :)

[Carol Cashes]

One of my mantras is: Some say that the pen is mightier than the sword, but I say that MY pen IS a mighty sword.

However, you had to equate writing, which is a pleasure for me, to math, which I resigned from when Satan threw the alphabet in the mix. *laughing*

That's actually a very good analogy, impressive.

Overall grade: Well done (I'll disregard the math references...this time).

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you for the good grades Teacher.
Do check out the latest assignment I have submitted as well ;)

[Jiya]

You sew the words into a poem so intricately!
Loved it

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you for the review Jiya

[Suchita]

good statement, w ell said, liked reading it a lot. Simple poems are the bet for they are understood by the mighty and the weak, all. Like reading your writing.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you Suchita

[William A. Wilson]

Like emmajoy said, some of the rhyming does seem forced a bit, but nothing is ever perfect. Your creative use of the words is done well, and while writing a poem that big can be difficult to do, you pulled it off nicely.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank U William... do have a look at my latest poem when you can