Waiting for you

My first poem on love.

Wishing I could get a glimpse of you.

I long for nothing more the whole day

than to see a smile on your face for something I say.

I don’t ask for too long, a few hundred hours would do.

 

Hoping I could hold your hand.

Take you around the park, around the flowers;

you would rest your head on my shoulders.

Violins would hum soulful tunes in this blessed land.

 

I long for that day when I could call you mine.

Our families united, our bodies united, our fates blessed,

you would look the prettiest bride, like a goddess you’d be dressed.

I don’t want to ask for much of your time; a lifetime would do just fine.

Author's Note

Now I am 'Waiting for you' to ...

Reviews

[richieb]

Ashan,
Well written words expressing a young man longing for the attentions of a young lady. It is hard to find originality on this subject but I enjoyed your creativity. Your expressions showed the depth of the young man's desires.
Richie b.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you very much Richie

[Valentine]

Perhaps you need to show this to her. Valentine

[Ashwin Shanker]

I don't have anyone to show this to :) ... This piece is not writing for any person in particular. :)

[Valentine]

One day you may find her. Kathie

[Surabhi Kaushik]

It's very nicely written. I can feel that the emotions are so real..it feels like you are speaking from your heart. I have liked your powerful writing before. This is the first time I am seeing your writing so simple....its beautiful. Well done!!

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you very much Surabhi, for the lovely review. I keep my writing simple as much as I can.

[Surabhi Kaushik]

It's very nicely written. I can feel that the emotions are so real..it feels like you are speaking from your heart. I have liked your powerful writing before. This is the first time I am seeing your writing so simple....its beautiful. Well done!!

[Giulia King]

This poem is so sweet and lovely!
"I don’t want to ask for much of your time; a lifetime would do just fine." So cute! I love reading poems like these

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you for the lovely Review Gulia :)
I love writing poems like these too, especially if beautiful women like you are reading and complementing it ;)

[Giulia King]

Oh wow, thank you! :)

[Ruth]

Ah, love...the one thing that never loses its beauty...a few eternities isn't enough when we love so :)

[Ashwin Shanker]

Correct !!

[D Connolly]

This is so sweet! A lifetime would do just fine... words everyone longs to hear once in their lives

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thanks you for the review Conolly

[Nessly]

Wow! These are words after my own heart. A "hundred hours" and a "lifetime" don't seem long enough... Great write, Ashan.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you very much Nessly

[Nessly]

Welcome. :)

[matrixmark]

This is a beautiful poem, how we all long to find the special one to spend the rest of our lives with. Taking you round the park, walking around the flowers - the usage of words are so well constructed and paint such a loving picture.

This is verse at its most best, when you don't have to think about its meaning - it's already perfectly there and such a joy to read. Gave me goosebumps reading this, realising how lucky I am to have found the love of my life.

Thank you Ashan, this really was a pleasure to read.

Mark.

[Ashwin Shanker]

This review brought a smile to my face. So happy to know that a few words that I string together evokes deep emotions to other readers around the globe. You may read this one out to your love, and perhaps bring a smile to her face as well. :) ...
Let our poetry spread happiness, spread love... What say?

[matrixmark]

Might well pick a few choice words and surprise her.

Thanks Ashan for this wonderful piece.

Mark.

[Kathryn Smith]

Awwww!! I love this! Well written, well done Ashan. You know how to make a girl's heart dance. Xx

[Ashwin Shanker]

If I have made yours dance, then I am happy :)
Thank you for the review Kathryn

[Coyote Poetry]

Hope and wishes. Sometime this is all we have.
"I long for that day when I could call you mine.
Our families united, our bodies united, our fates blessed,"
I liked the want and the need in the words. Thank you Ashan for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you Coyote for the excellent review :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my friend.