I am a Nobody

Else, who else am I?

I am nobody. 

Nobody wants to be a nobody

Everybody wants to be a somebody

I could have been born as a prince or a pauper. 

A saint or a militant.

I could have been a woman even,

Capable of producing life.

For which men would have been eternally jealous,

They are capable of only art and poetry.

It would have been me who made the earth whole and zealous,

Had I been born as a woman.

 

I was given a name

To be known as somebody.

By a somebody.

Out a billion names available,

I chose to be known as somebody.

From birth I was taught and trained

To keep repeating my name

Like a trained parrot

Just to show society.

That I am a somebody

And not a nobody.

 

I was later told by society,

To really be a somebody.

Never remain a nobody,

because no one respects such one.

Be a somebody,

make sure everyone praises you together as one.

 

Out of a billion life forms available

I was sent to live on earth as a nobody.

I wasn’t asked to wear clothes,

I wasn’t asked to make money,

I was sent simply to exist as every animal does.

Why I am asked to be anybody in life? I find it funny.

 

Out of a billion life forms, here I am.

To live till an unknown time,

Asked by society to have a few  

hopes and dreams Just to pass time.

Only I can tell myself why I matter,

Of what meaning of my existence would have rather.

 

We have either told or been told to be, who we are,

Just like that memorised name from our past.

Our hopes, dreams and ambitions,

will never cease to last.

 

If we choose not to be who we are,

Who would we be?

Will this help us in our escape from society, and us free?

 

I am a nobody.

There has never been, never will be anyone like us, any time in history. 

Are we original or are we re-incarnated? It still a mystery.

I am just one among existence,

Just like the animals and trees,

My consciousness similiar to all of them,

This will be my understanding.

This will be my penance.

 

 

Reviews

[matrixmark]

This was a neat short piece. Too many people spend their lives following others in what they do, when they should be concentrating on themselves and who they are. Too many fakes and frauds are all around following eachother like they dont' know who they want to be.

I've never been a fan of following the crowd - always choosing to be different and just being me.

Your poetry is short but it really says a hell of a lot inbetween the lines. I really enjoyed reading this thoughful and well presented piece.

Mark.

[Ashwin Shanker]

I am happy that the message of the poem connected with you well.
Thanks for the review Mark.

[matrixmark]

As always...a pleasure to read your work.

Mark.

[Ashwin Shanker]

:) .......

[jacob erin-cilberto]

but one who counts and always will ....nobody is a nobody, even though emily dickinson like to write
"i am nobody who are you? are you nobody too?"

we do pose that question to ourselves quite often...can i say i am a somebody...will anybody agree?

[Ashwin Shanker]

So true. The question that we must all ask ourselves I feel. Especially us Authors. many of us write simply so that we are etched in history even after our death, like Elliot, Dickens, Tolstoy, Chekov. So many legends in the field of literature. Writing is such an art that can escalate you to that status.

[Coyote Poetry]

So many good questions in this poem.
"If we choose not to be who we are,
Who would we be?
Will this help us in our escape from society, and us free?"
The above lines. All of us need to answer. I told people. Each day more freedoms are lost and no-one care. This is sad. Thank you for sharing the powerful and worthwhile poetry.
Coyote

[Ashwin Shanker]

Yes, I believe every single human being should ask themselves... Why am I here?
The answer should be simple, to simply exist.
There is absolutely no need to make a mark on this earth before we leave, there are a million marks already. Simply exist, live a life of joy, meditation, compassion and bliss.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree. We must slow down and enjoy our life.

[Karmee]

I was a given a name
To be known as somebody.
By a somebody.

I love these lines here,
Your poem speaks, I enjoyed reading this piece,
quite intriguing

[Ashwin Shanker]

Hope you were able to take home the message that the poem was trying to convey? :)

[Karmee]

yes, society is discrimainating in my opinion.
We all try to be somebody, to fit in this world.
Sometimes we tend to try to be somebody else to get where we need to go or fit in.
Least that is what I got from this.

[Kathrin S]

There are some very interesting concepts addressed in this poem and some passages are really very good. I think you could work on the structure/wording a little though.
This is the structure as I see it:
- You tell us you're a nobody.
- You tell us all the things you could have been (prince, pauper, woman ...)
- Now you tell us you're actually a somebody - you've been given a name and told to be a somebody by other people.
- Then once again you tell us that out of a billion possible life forms, you're a nobody.
- Then you talk about how others tell us who to be.
- In the end, you seem to jump around a bit from being a nobody to addressing how unique we are ('There has never been, never will be anyone like us').

To me, the main point you're making in this poem is that you're told who to be by society, but you yourself feel that you're actually a nobody, and have to figure out who you are on your own. Am I right or did I get it wrong?
If so, focus on this and make it clearer. Our uniqueness (the last part of the poem) is a slightly different topic and deserves its own poem in my opinion.

Now for technical aspects:
- The stanza "Nobody wants to be a nobody ..." didn't work so well for me. Maybe re-work it.
- Some stylistic things were pointed out by others already: Cut out the first 'a' in "I was a given a name", or "sent out to live in earth" when it's supposed to be 'on earth'.

- "Like a trained parrot" You used the word 'trained' only two lines ago, so it feels repetitive. You could even cut it out in this line and just say 'like a parrot', I think people would still understand.

Overall, you have some great passages though. I loved the part about women, that's a really good stanza. Very strong.
Also, I liked how you started two stanzas with 'Out of a billion life forms ...". That made this argument stronger.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you for the beautiful review.

My question to all those reading this poem was very simple. To find out who we are? are we our name? Are we... our past? Our identity? Is it real?
if we would all ask ourselves this question. and even ponder over an answer. An answer is impossible because whatever we know, is simply a understanding of our mind.
We need to grow beyond the mind, beyond the words. 'samadhi' or the eternal tranquility will help us realise that the happiness that we constantly seek from the outside world can easily be found within. Just turn 180 degrees and look within. Perhaps a bit of silence helps as well.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Great review :P

[DeerInHeadlights]

how we question it all.. so much.. what really.. you pulled me in with all of these questions, questioning existence, the why's- the pressure to be somebody, when only the somebodies stand out, while everyone else is just considered a nobody because we passively skimp on through this life as if.. as if we are really no body to anybody at all..

[Ashwin Shanker]

Out of all the reviewers, you seem to have captured the essence of what I was really trying to say through the poem. Brilliant review. Why should we be a somebody and not a nobody?
Such a daring question to ask to the society, even I haven't asked this question to the world around me. But I am yet trying to find out the meaning of life before me so that I can be prepared with an ansnwer when society questions what next?
Life is actually quite meaningless. We just need to exist, observe and do nothing. Just look at the animals... they simply seem to be loitering around, passing time...

[Schatzi]

Hello Ashan Shanker,

Another social conscious and self assessing poem. Nicely done! There were a few sentences that had awkward wording or incorrect punctuation. I have listed them below, as I know you like specifics. :)

"Them capable of only art and poetry." Them? Did you mean They are?

"I was a given a name" The first 'a' is not necessary here. It reads better as 'I was given a name'

"Out a billion names available," You appear to have dropped a word here. 'Out of a billion names available,'

"Just to show the society." This sentence is a bit awkward because you refer to society as the society. Did you do this on purpose? You can drop the word, the and just say 'Just to show society.'

"I was later told by the society," Again, 'the society'? 'I was later told by society,'

"because no one respects such one." Again, there is awkward wording here. 'because no one respects such one.' Such one? Did you perhaps mean, 'because no one respects any one.'

"I was sent to live in earth as a nobody." I think you meant on earth here, not in. 'I was sent to live on earth as a nobody.'

"Are we original or are we re-incarnated, still a mystery." The comma seems out of place here and this is a question, not a statement. 'Are we original or are we re-incarnated--still a mystery?' or 'Are we original or are we re-incarnated? It's still a mystery.'

"I just one among existence," I'm not really sure what you are saying here. 'I am just one among many,' or 'I just exist,'.

I hope this helps you!

Thank you for sharing!

Kind regards,

Schatzi

[Ashwin Shanker]

Most of your changes have been incorporated here Schatzi. Thank you for taking your time in explaining some of the wordings which seem to have gone wrong. I had accidentally posted the first draft and didn't really be mindful of the mistakes until you pointed them out to me. Thank you so much.

[Surabhi Kaushik]

Fantastic! As always very profound words. I absolutely loved the layout. It made it so much more different while reading your work.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you tons Surabhi... Hope my poem has changed your perception of self. Just how we are just among billions for all eternity... Thank you for the review.

[Ashlyn Olivia]

I love the transitions between nobody and somebody. I have always been somebody to someone. But just a nobody to myself. Wonderful

[Ashwin Shanker]

Hope the thought comes across. It is seriously something to meditate upon. Who we really are if we are not the name and the identity given to us by our parents.. Just one among existence,,

[Jennie Lynn]

It reminds me of Jeanette Winterson's writing. There's a quote I'm going to completely garble, but it's something like "Ask someone who they are and they'll hand you a wallet or show you a child." For me it speaks to all the trappings we add to life to give it meaning, all the artifice we place on ourselves to make us a somebody. Or that might just be the existentialist in me.

I disagree with another reviewer who said it's redundant. One I find that poetry often repeats itself and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Mentioning just that you could have been a woman does not negate the other possibilities. For me it's an acknowledgement of those embellishments added to any given title or identity. One can still believe them to be ultimately meaningless. As another reviewer asked why we choose to be only one thing. Though I agree with you that we can't share the consciousness of another person we are all essentially a nobody, we just each choose to wear a different suit.

Overall I liked it. The wording is good, the rhythm good, overall a strong poem.

[JayG]

It needs tightening, because lots of it is unnecessary. You open by saying "I am nobody." Nothing wrong with that. But then you say:

"Nobody wants to be a nobody
Everybody wants to be a somebody"

It's not poetic, so what does it do other than state the obvious? You follow with:

"I could have been a woman even,
Capable of producing life."

What does it tell the reader? Nothing useful. We COULD have been endless things. But we're not. So listing all the things we're not, in mundane terms, isn't poetic and serves only to slow the narrative. But of more importance, the reader already knows where you're going, so there are no surprises.

Poetry should draw the reader in, with language, image, ideas, and more. But that many words just to say, "Don't let anyone tell you you're a no one, because they're wrong," seems excessive.

So whatever you write squeeze it till it's the essence of the idea, expressed so well the reader says, "Damn, I wish I'd said that."

Pressure turns coal into diamonds.

[Ashwin Shanker]

I am happy that you understood the message of the poem.
Thank you the review.