The Last Wish

The biggest unraveling of a cosmic truth

His end was near

His vision was clear

 

The man said, ‘Please don’t burn my body,’

To everyone’s shock and dismay,

He continued, ‘bury it in our backyard.'

 

‘But, baby that is against our tradition,’ mother said

‘I know it is, which is why my special request

Else I would have let things be.'

 

‘But, baby my parents will never agree to it,’ the wife said

‘They never agreed to our courtship or our marriage.'

Life has always been and always will be flowing smoothly,’ he said

 

‘You don’t have a single child to carry your name forward,’ his brother said

‘Nothing was mine the day I opened my eyes,

I intend to leave no footprints, the day I close it too,’ he said

 

The family had to oblige to his final request

He was their most educated, traveled& enlightened

He deserves his wish fulfilled before he goes to rest

 

On the day his eyes finally closed,

His family gathered around with tears

His eyes seem to be in peace, no more fears

Under a white sheet, he lay dozed

 

‘How can you not let his body burn?

His soul was about to reach heaven, and you let it rot in the ground?

In-laws and neighbours started to hound

Do you think what you’re doing is right?’

Arguments escalated, lucky that nothing turned to a fight

 

Weeks turned to months

The family comes to peace, with its member at rest

All those objects the man claimed to be his,

Was seen orphaned with his other belongings

 

It was those objects that brought him and his memories

Back to their minds again, he must be beyond the stars and seas

His brother imagined,

He has a place up there now, he will not come back, but will he? 

 

For his mother, however, the longing turned to paranoia

In her dreams, He came, and he questioned

‘I am rotting in hell, decomposed and worm-infested

Save me, burn me; let the smoke of my remainders

Rise to heaven and be forsaken.'

 

Mother woke up middle of the night

And decided that she is going to fight

Her son will not rot in the ground anymore

He will be exhumed and then cremated as per norm

 

The next full moon night, the family gathered in the backyard,

Brothers called two friends, and the exhumation started

A few bits of grass, weed, and a small sapling uprooted

 

One by one, the family started to find the bones,

There was little flesh left beneath the stones

They gathered whatever remains they could find

Whatever of the bones and tissue left behind?

Among the bones they found a note, sealed

Inside a plastic cover, the letter revealed

 

"You are reading this letter because I already knew

That I would be excavated because norms die slowly

I want you all to know, that this was the way I wanted to go

I am raised by the food grown in this backyard

Raised by the same eternal consciousness of earth

Who grew the food for me since birth,

Turning the dirt and t**d, to carrots and mustard

 

 

Throughout my life, my journeys I realized

That the only way to achieve immortality

Is to return to the earth and melt into its eternity

 

I am still here, there and everywhere       

I was there in the plants and shrubs you cut to get here

I was there in every inch of mud you dug out

And I will be there in every plant and tree that sprouts

 

Had I been burned, then I would have been a vapour

I will still come down as rain before the first monsoon supper

I might be a part of every breath you take because I am now everywhere

 

So even you will join me in this eternity,

This is neither heaven nor hell in its actuality

 We will just keep changing form; it is just so much fun,

 We will all be together, as matter, we are one"

Author's Note

One of the longest poems I've written... The thought is related to the idea of ever dissolving property of nature, how one form of matter changes to another in a cycle.

Inspired from a speech on the consciousness of nature by Dr. N. Gopalakrishnan.
Renowned scientist and former director of IISH (Indian Institute of Scientific Heritage)
(Look him up on YouTube)

Please share your thoughts below.

Reviews

[D Connolly]

This idea is so beautiful. The story was getting gruesome, but he already knew what his family would do after he was gone (because he loved them so well in life, he knew before they did). I love how he understands our cyclic nature as spiritual beings; whether it is from the ground or the sky, "we will all be together, as matter, we are one"

[Ashwin Shanker]

That was the message that I intended through this write. glad to know that you liked it

[Mifa]

This is a great piece. Quite insightful. The flow of words made the length seem bearable for a poem. Thanks for sharing.

[Ashwin Shanker]

I am so glad you loved it brother Mifa :D ... hope the message was clear to you.

[Mifa]

Indeed I do.

[Ara Mosby]

I followed the story within this piece closely, and I understood what you were trying to say - we all have a purpose, and if we look at ourselves as pieces to the puzzle, we fit somewhere even after we are gone. I was fed by this earth, and therefore when I am gone and my body is all that is left, I too want to feed the earth that fed me.

This also plays with the idea of heaven and hell, which is a heavy subject, but I like the way that you worked with it in the end. Eternity is actuality...our heaven or hell is what we create it to be based upon our last thoughts and our last moments. Well done.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Well, think of an ant eater... Its whole life if spent feeding on ants. But the moment it is dead and decaying, the fish eats it. We extract food from nature, but nature extracts our body when we die. Every body who was ever dead, their remains would be floating as vapour somewhere or they would be decaying somewhere else or would be the food of worms or other micro-organisms... Life is like that... A constant consciousness.

[Karmee]

WOW!!! this is really good,
Love the flow of the write.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you Kitseth.

[Karmee]

no problem

[Addict With a Pen]

I fell in love with this poem! Such a deep message.
"That the only way to achieve immortality / Is to return to the earth and melt into its eternity"
Amazing lines, perfect flow, great story.
The best poems are the ones that tell stories, and I believe you did a wonderful job writing this one. Although it is a long poem, it doesn't drag on like most lengthy ones do. Instead I truly wanted to get to the end and read about this intriguing tale.
Great work!

[Ashwin Shanker]

Well Mr. Poet... I put up a rather regular story, it is the message which I want to emphasize upon. The message is what carries the meaning. The message is what I wanna share and spread among the community here. That we human beings are simply going to keep rotating in different forms again and again in this earth. This is an insight. a deep one though.
I am happy that you loved it and thank you for placing it second in the contest.

[horizon]

It's nice ..a different start to a poetry...unusual and good with deep meaning..

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you horizon for the review :)

[Kathrin S]

I love the idea behind this poem. It's really beautiful and the man is really wise. I didn't mind that it was a little longer because it was well-paced and never boring, and I particularly liked the ending.

Commentary:
- Loved the first two lines. But maybe end them with a full stop (.) In general, pay attention that you don't forget full stops when you write. Even in poems, I believe that they're important since they make things clearer and give the reader a little room to pause and breathe.
- "wife said" - if you don't add 'his wife' or 'the wife', it sounds like you're using 'wife' as her name, so I'd capitalize it. I think it works well.
- "or our marriage(.") Don't forget to close the speech mark because on the next line it's a different person speaking. Without speech mark, that's confusing. So you have to put a " at the end of the line and another " at the beginning of the next line. Pay attention with this throughout.
- "I intend to leave no footprints" - this seemed a little strange to me. I know you probably meant that he doesn't intend to leave anything negative in the world, but generally if you speak of leaving footprints, it's a good thing. You're making your mark on the world.
- "he lay dozed" - I know you put this in for the rhyme, but it should be 'dozing'. Maybe you could find another word here.

Again, I really liked the premise of this and think it's definitely interesting to read.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you Kathrin for the corrections that has been suggested, I have incorporated a few of them to the poem. Friends like you who bother and have the courage to actually point out mistakes instead of blindly praising the poetry are PRICELESS... Thanks for the constant support.

[Surabhi Kaushik]

"Throughout my life, my journeys I realized
That the only way to achieve immortality
Is to return to the earth and melt into its eternity" You have captured the whole essence of your poem in these lines

[Ashwin Shanker]

Humans are often so obsessed to achieve immortality while the whole time all that was needed was to realise that they have always been immortal; just not the way they would have themselves to be.

[Surabhi Kaushik]

I like the way you question things with your poetry..It's a good gift you have and if you keep working on that craft, I am sure you will discover heights in writing. Great job!!

[Ashwin Shanker]

I question things not just in my poetry but in every other things that I do in my life. Not one finger of mine moves without being subject to at least a couple of questions. I feel questioning should be an integral part of our psyche to achieve clarity in whatever we do, hope you agree ...

[R J Askew]

What a rascal with a witty sting in his tale! Great read.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Glad to know that you've loved the poem RJ :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful story. I believe last wishes should be obeyed. I want to be burn and tossed in the Lake Superior water.
"So even you will join me in this eternity,
This is neither heaven nor hell in its actuality
We will just keep changing form; it is just so much fun,
We will all be together, as matter, we are one"
The above lines. I liked. One day we will find the people we miss. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and thoughts.
Coyote

[Ashwin Shanker]

Even I found the ending to be more than enough to bring closure to my message. The poem would have gone on and on otherwise :P . The poem is lot less about last wishes than it is about how ultimately, no matter what you do, you will end up being the part of nature once more.
Happy that you enjoyed the poem, do have a peek at my other work and do share your thoughts.