When You Leave My Colors Fade To Grey

I wrote this for my composition class and it needs a lot of work like a lot We were supposed to take a person, any person, and put them in a situation or a role that they wouldn't have been in in their actual life. So I wrote this... Bonus points if y

 

“When You Leave, My Colors Fade to Grey…”

            Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Beep beep! Beep beep!

            ­­­Elizabeth reached her hand over and smashed the snooze button on her alarm clock. She’d had that same nightmare again. Or rather, she’d relived that memory again except this time it was longer than the last. In fact, each time she relived that memory, she remembered more and more about the accident. The trauma from Charlie’s death had actually affected Elizabeth’s memories in a small way. It had had been about three months since Charlie passed away. He was everything to her and she was happy. In a manner of speaking, Elizabeth was born with one half of a heart, and Charlie was born with the other half. Sharing one heart, synchronized beating. It’s almost impossible to comprehend how hard it is for her to keep on living, having been complete for such a long time, and now being the mere half that she was when she was born. God tore Charlie out of Elizabeth and left her alone.

            Elizabeth forced herself out of bed, since any other method would have failed. Since Charlie died she didn’t understand why she needed to wake up, and every morning that she did awake made it harder and harder to get up. She turned the water in the bathtub up to a hot setting. Since it was a Saturday, Elizabeth figured she could try to relax for the day, physically at least. As the water filled up about half of the tub, Elizabeth noticed a basket on the sink filled with various items. Some Epson salts, some body lotions and some candies. Most likely from her mother. Elizabeth’s mother started being her mother when Charlie died, poking her unwelcomed head into the house every once in a while. She would usually just bring food up to Elizabeth’s room and would occasionally drop off a package much like this. The basket contained some packets of Epson salts, body lotions, and a few other items that would be found in a home spa package. Elizabeth went ahead and poured one of the containers of Epson salts into the tub, which stimulated an instant aroma of mint that spread through the bathroom along with the steam, which should have suggested that the water was a bit too hot, however, most pains didn’t exactly hurt Elizabeth like they used to. Much like gluttony, after her heart was shredded, normal pains such as burns or cuts didn’t quite do their jobs like they used to.

            Elizabeth pulled off her pajamas and glanced in the mirror before stepping into the bathtub. Her 24 year old feminine frame was just as beautiful as it was when she was younger. She was graced with silky pale skin, crimson red hair and brown eyes. Elizabeth slowly dipped the toes on her left foot into the water and watched the way the ripples spread across the water and breaking on the edge of the tub, then fading way. Much like herself, except she wouldn’t fade, she was going to remain on this planet until God had felt her suffering could end. Her sole touched the floor of the tub and she stepped over the rim with her other leg and sank down into the shallow water. The warmth from the water reminded her of Charlie’s embrace and plunged her onto a train of thought that focused only on her days with Him.

            In the past few months without Charlie, the house had been quiet. Elizabeth couldn’t remember what it was, but she was certain that there was another voice that was supposed to ring through the house. A third entity that belonged with her and Charlie, but due to the recent events, Elizabeth’s focus couldn’t break away from her memories of Charlie. The warmth, the aromas and the illusions of Charlie pushed Elizabeth over the edge and she fell asleep.

            Sleep was Elizabeth’s best friend, but also her worst enemy. She could escape from her pain, but at some point in her peace, she would relive that nightmare. This sleep, however, would be peaceful, for the first time in months. This dream, however joyful, would neither give her joy nor make her happy, nor would it last long. For after 30 minutes or so, she was awakened by the piercing cold of the water that she had fallen asleep in. She quickly rose out of the water and grabbed a towel to dry off. She pulled the plug out in the tub and put on some clean clothes.

            Elizabeth walked out of the bathroom and saw that the door to her room was open. Her mother probably left the door open on accident when she came up this morning. Elizabeth walked over to shut the door when she noticed the room across the hall. It was a room that she didn’t remember, a room which also sparked her curiosity, and for the first time in months, Elizabeth walked out of her room. She took the three steps across the hall and stood in the doorway of the room for a moment.

            There was a bed in the far corner that was fairly large, most likely two twin sized beds out together to form a square of cushion in the corner of the room. The bed was covered in pillows and stuffed animals, some of which had fallen onto the floor. The walls were a light pink and the curtains were white. The shelving was also painted white and held various toys and books.  The wall to the right of the door had various paintings on it, and as Elizabeth saw the wall she fell to her knees. She remembered painting that wall. She painted it with Charlie. She remembered it very clearly; they were painting it for someone, that third entity most likely. In fact, Elizabeth had a feeling that the third entity helped to paint the wall.

            She crawled over to the wall and pressed her hand against a blot of paint that looked slightly like a hand. As she felt the ridges of the paint, she heard the front door downstairs open which made her jump. The sudden noise made her realize that she wasn’t in the safety of her room anymore, which, more than anything, scared her. Elizabeth quickly regained herself and ran across the hall and into her room, slamming the door. She leaned against the door and slid down to floor.

            “Was that -----?”

            A little voice rang up the halls and into Elizabeth’s ears. The little voice that belonged to the little hand that was engraved on the wall in that room. A tear fell down Elizabeth’s cheek as she saw a vision of a little girl with wavy brown hair. She could only remember the pale hands that belonged to the girl’s wrists and the brown wavy hair that belonged to the girls scalp.

            Elizabeth reached up to the door handle and locked it, then ran quickly to the window and tore it open. She tried to hold back a sneer. The sun was very bright today and she wasn’t used to her eyes being in direct contact with its light. She stepped out onto the roof and shifted over to the right, leaning against a part of the roof that slanted upward. From here, she could see the park and a bunch of teenagers hanging out, dancing and playing music. She could faintly hear the words and the tunes, and although she didn’t recognize the music, it was peaceful to hear it. Soon, a familiar tune started to play and Elizabeth began thinking of where she had heard it.

“When you leave my colors fade to gray.
ooh-a-ooh-a-eh, ooh-a-ooh-a-eh
Every word of love I used to say
Now I paint it everyday

When you leave my colors fade to gray
Hey my love will stay but all my colors fade away
Every word of love I used to say
Now I paint it everyday”

            The song cut deep into her, she felt like she had been nailed into the roof as a team of doctors began a biopsy on her heart. No sedatives. The rhyme forced the memories of night Charlie died to echo through her head and play on repeat.

            That song was Elizabeth’s ringtone on her cell phone, which rang when the police called to alert Elizabeth of her husband’s condition:

            “Hello? I’m trying to reach a Ms. Elizabeth Tudor,” said the officer with a somewhat urgent tone.

            “This is she.”

            “Ah, well. I’m calling about your husband-” A sudden, indescribable fear flushed through Elizabeth and she was forced into a state of hysterics.

            “What happened? Where is he? Is he okay-” she screamed into the phone.

            “Calm down ma’am,” the officer interrupted. He was new to his job and was very intimidated by Elizabeth’s screaming. “While your husband was driving down the interstate, he was rear ended by a drunk driver and was forced into oncoming traffic… His vehicle was hit by three other vehicles and his vehicle was flipped.”

            Elizabeth couldn’t think on or react to what she had just heard. She was frozen, leaning against the counter.

            “He was rushed to the nearest hospital and is, as of now in a stable condition. We’ve sent a vehicle to your residence to drive you to the hospital, it should be arriving soon.”

            Elizabeth heard a car begin to pull into her driveway. She immediately dropped her phone and ran out the front door, she ran up to the car, forcing the door open and jumping into the car and yelled, “Drive!”

            The 15 minute drive to the hospital felt like it took hours to Elizabeth, and she couldn’t bear to sit in that car much longer. After forever subsided, the hospital appeared on the horizon and the drive began to go much faster.

            Before the driver was able to come to a complete stop and park, Elizabeth had jumped out of the car and run to the hospital doors. She was so impatient that she actually hit her shoulder on the automatic door, since it wouldn’t open fast enough. She picked up her running speed and came to a full stop at the front desk, demanding what room Charlie was in. The nurse alerted Elizabeth that Charlie was in the Emergency Room. The nurse kept talking but Elizabeth ignored the rest of what she was saying and took off toward the Emergency Room.

            A doctor stopped Elizabeth when she got to the door that separated her from her other half.

            “Only immediate family are allowed to enter,” said the doctor with a questionable look on his face. This comment sent Elizabeth into a state of rage and she punched the doctor in the face, and then forced her way into the room.

            Charlie was lying on the table with his eyes closed surrounded by a team of doctors. Elizabeth’s knees gave out for a second and she began to fall when one of the doctors caught her and guided her to a seat.

            “How about you sit here and I’ll explain the situation, okay?” The doctor asked smiling. “Your husband is in a stable condition for now, but I can’t promise he will be in such for much longer. He will die here today, there’s nothing we can do to help him. We can leave you two alone to talk before he passes away, but that’s the best we can do…”

            Elizabeth couldn’t hold back her tears any longer; the tears started flowing from her eyes and the doctors evacuated the room to give Elizabeth and Charlie some alone time. Charlie woke up due to Elizabeth’s moaning.

            “Elizabeth? Why are you crying?” said Charlie weakly. Elizabeth dashed over to Charlie and kneeled on the floor.

            “Charlie! Charlie! Don’t leave! Please don’t leave me! You know I can’t do this without you!” begged Elizabeth.

            “Elizabeth, you’ll be fine-”

            “No Charlie! You can’t leave me alone! If you leave, I’m going with you-“

            “No.” This one word shocked Elizabeth. “You need to stay here… You need to care for her… You need to raise our --------, -----. I love you Elizabeth.”

            Elizabeth somewhat regained her composer and noticed that the sun was beginning to set.

“Ma… Maria? Our… daughter?” It all hit Elizabeth at the exact same moment. Charlie did love her, and she couldn’t die. She had to live because someone did need her. She had to get up in the morning.

            “Maria!” gasped Elizabeth as she jumped back into her room. She fumbled to get the door unlocked. She became frustrated with the door, she need to see her daughter, what had she missed. She hadn’t seen or taken care of Maria in months. Fear struck deep in Elizabeth. How could she still be alive without a mother? Without parents?

            Elizabeth managed to get the door open and rushed across the hall into Maria’s room. It looked the same way it had when she was in it earlier and Maria was nowhere in sight.

            “Maria!” yelled Elizabeth from the door way. She heard a pair of voices downstairs and shuffled down them and found herself in the kitchen where her mother stood by the stove shocked.

            “Maria? Where’s Maria?”

            “Mommy?” a little voice said from the living room. Elizabeth couldn’t move, now that she was mere feet from her reason for existence she didn’t know what to do. She was a mother when Charlie was here, but what about now? Elizabeth walked over to the couch and saw her baby girl. She took saw her 3 foot 6 inch frame, she saw Charlie’s features in her face, the pale hands, the brown hair with the golden red sheen, the deep brown eyes that were the same as Elizabeth’s. Elizabeth dropped to her knees and spread out her arms. That was all she knew to do. That was all she felt she could do.

            “Please… Come here…,” begged Elizabeth. Maria looked puzzled and glanced past Elizabeth to her grandma, Elizabeth’s mother, Anne. Anne nodded and Maria looked back at Elizabeth, the lunged into her mother’s arms. “Hello Maria, I’m so sorry that I wasn’t here with you!”

            “It’s ok, grandma said you were really sick so she was playing with me and looking after me while you were sleeping.”

            Elizabeth let go of Maria and looked at Anne in shock, “You? You watched her?”

            “Um, yes, I did,” said Anne cautiously. “I felt that since I couldn’t be a mother to you, I could fill in for you with Maria. It was the least that I could do.”

            “Thank you, Mom.”

Author's Note

I need all the help i can get with this

Reviews

[EVERYTHINGyoucantelltoS..]

Much like gluttony, after her heart was shredded, normal pains such as burns or cuts didn't quite do their jobs like they used to.

How is this like gluttony?

perhaps break up some of the 'charlie' 's with him's and he's.

Her sole touched the floor of the tub and she stepped over the rim with her other leg and sank down into the shallow water.

*soul

sized beds out together to form a square

*put together?

She could only remember the pale hands that belonged to the girl's wrists and the brown wavy hair that belonged to the girls scalp.

I like the possession, especially with the wrists.

His vehicle was hit by three other vehicles and his vehicle was flipped
-doesnt really flow like dialogue. maybe... Three other vehicles hit his *whatever car he was driving* and he was flipped. or something...

"He was rushed to the nearest hospital and is, as of now in a stable condition.
**He was rushed to the nearest hospital(,) and is, as of now, in a stable condition.

She was so impatient that she actually hit her shoulder on the automatic door, since it wouldn't open fast enough.

actually doesnt sound right here. it doesnt sound like a description of the setting,more of a comment from the narrator. although there doesnt seem to be a narrator...

You need to raise our --------, -----.
-i dont get this bit. if he didnt finish, its just ellipses... how would anyone listening know what punctuation to use in lieu of the words he didnt say?

Elizabeth somewhat regained her composer and noticed that the sun was beginning to set.

Elizabeth somewhat regained her composer and noticed that the sun was beginning to set.
*composure


i dont know about the ending, but then i dont know what you would substitute it with...
also, i would put up what the assignment was, too. just because its interesting...

[Brendan Kerestes]

like this a lot