Secrets

Secrets 

What is viewed is not seen.

What is said is not heard.

What is felt is not remembered.

It is all hidden,hidden behind the wall.

She smiles in her pain.

Laughs even in agony.

But she cries,she always cries,

and always dies,when hiding behind the wall.

Oh, the safety of the wall.

You may give, but will not be accepted.

You may ask, but will not be given.

You may bond, but you will live alone.

You may enter, but not with heart in tow.

You may leave, but take nothing with you.

She is the broken little doll,who lives

                      behind the wall.

Woe,to the broken little doll.

Author's Note

a poem for my best friend ever, i feel she is hiding allot of feelings from the world for fear of being hurt.

Reviews

[Sunflower 20]

nice poem, but you could possible think of changing a few of your word choices, for example you can change this:

You may ask, but will not be given"

to

"You may ask, but will not be answered"


its only a suggestion, but overall well done :)

[Dakota]

So many can relate to every word you've written here! Deep and powerful piece!

[Poetic Beauty]

many people hide behind walls to protect themselves from getting hurt or because of a lack of trust.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This is a good poem. I really understand what she is going through. I hide behind a wall all the time. I laugh even though I'm in a bad mood. I cry a lot as well. I don't ever show my true feelings. I know how you feel when you want a friend to open up to you. It's like my best friend wanting me to tell her everything, but I just don't. Thanks for sharing.

[KL]

A theme that applies to not just an individual but the world. Seems like everyone's hiding from themselves these days. These walls need to be torn down! A very true poem, good write.

[Author Rucha Joshi]

Nice repetition technique. More song like than poetry. Your friend should really open up, like blooming flower.
I love this poetry

[nono]

Oh nice! that's harsh see people always hide something I know I do! And I know you do (eyes watch you) lol jk. But this is beautiful you did a nice job this shows the importance of people that they should tell their feelings!

[Nina Kari]

i feel we as humans tend to shield ourselves from the pain of others or shield our own pain to keep others form thinking we are unstable or to make them think we are stronger than we look. we need to learn to open up more, to let someone inside these walls that can trully be trusted. if that person loves you, and i mean trully loves you -not that "oh i love you" but then break your heat and leave you crap- then they wont mind if you burden them with your problems and emotions. they can help. this is a very good write.

[SimplyDisastrous]

This is beautiful, Shane! Very beautiful. I've seen alot of poems with this same title but the content in them don't sound quite like this. Excellent job. This is by far one of your best writes. I'm sure your friend will love it, if she hasn't read it already. (:

[Dusk's Dream. Dawn's Ho..]

this is very well written, and I