What is life?

I put alot of thought into this one hope yall like it

Martin Luther King
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

well let me be the first to say i really did care about my life today...

what was i gonna do just stop what i was saying just to pray and thank god for my life today?

there are more important things for me to worry about, things that even Dr.king would throw above and over, out of god f*****g reach.

things like caring for a friend or learning to teach and, 

i don't mean no school s**t, bull s**t, hell no i mean teaching a crowed of people out side of you'r house why the hell you don't believe in god.

it all started when i was a boy, living in south side fort worth with my moma and my dada selling cheap type one heroine to people who would give up there own children for the s**t, 

cops busted down the door, took my parents away for seven long years i prayed but nothing f*****g worked, i didn't even really believe, but i didn't know why i couldn't believe but all the other kids at school could, oh why oh why? couldn't

 i have been given such a talented gift, to have an imaginary friend and believe in him.

that was when i lived with my grandma and papa, back in 1995 until 2001 when i finally got to see my mom again, but my dad had split, he didn't even say goodbye, oh well guess thats life.

fast forward to two years later, i am i'm elementary school surrounded by three kids, older than me found out i was atheist, and decided they were gonna kill me, thats south side for ya, so i f*****g slammed each of there heads into a wall and got suspended for a self defensive act inwich i fought back?

i still remember the red hair on that dumb b***h, telling me i should have been a snitch.

2005 the passing of a titan, larry lyle (papa) dies in the heat of a hot summer day, he in my thoughts always...

same year, same s**t different school, some guy decides to mock my dead gpaw, that ain't cool, so i slammed his face into a metal pole. how was i supposed to know he had such a fragile nose?luckily it was close to the end of my last middle school year.

but thoughts of high school filled me with fear and, 

frustration and anger, 

its now 2006 and i see an angel a black haired black eyed goddess sent from above, i eve start thinking that i believe, but i am gonna get straight to the real s**t...

lets forward this clock a little faster,2010

she is laying on my bed completely in the nude, but i am not on top of her its another dude,

i wanted to kill him i wanted to end her, so i just surrendered.

she might as well have tossed my heart into a F*****g blender...

oh and by the way my piece of s**t dad came back with a speed addiction and an attitude to beat, he f*****g sits on the god damned couch and doesn't do s**t..

so there is the first half of my life, and now might i ask you...if this is how it is all filled with hatred and strife....What the F**k is Life?

Author's Note

well i thought this one long and hard, but after my father and i got into a huge argument about the fact that he doesnt have a job, nor DOES HE DO ANYTHING around the house while my mother and sister are at work supporting this house, the only reason i am reluctant to get a job is bcuz if i do the house will get trashed cuz not even my stay at home dad cleans...peice of trailer shit... anyways, after the argument i saw the quote from MLK, and it tolled me to write about the things no one else know about me so that they can get a true understanding of my life and my writing. btw my mother has been clean for 10 years on sept 11!!! she is now the Vice president for Ramone A Cruz family practice here in denton texas, the numper on private practice practitioner in denton!

Reviews

[Dr.Who.LOVER]

Really good I like it

-VampireChick

[JENY]

Thanks for sharing….
For giving an opportunity to read a page from your life….
Liked it so much..
I mean…
The way you narrated your experiences…

[Coyote Poetry]

The story was hard and filled with many thing no child or man need to go through. Anger lead us to bad places. I had a awol father and learn to be a good father from a bad example. Sometime we need to find a better road and people. Woman who want too much can destroy a life. A powerful story. Pain and hurt can teach us to be better if we are lucky. Thank you for sharing the story.
Coyote

[Cristal Bridges]

It may sound stupid and retarted but I have been through a lot in my young life. I have grown up in a home with a person who has a drug addiction and it's hard to watch that happen to someone you love. It's hard to imagine what drove that person to take that path in their life.

And I have to say for my own self that I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have faith. I have not had all of my prayers answered, that person is still addicted to this day. And I've lived with it a lot of sadness and anger for that person and towards that person. I believe that there are better things out there for the people who suffer. I am not trying to make you believe anything I am only stating what has helped me. I do not attend church or anything like that but God does have a place in my life to an extent and just believing that He exists and is listening to my wishes and prayers even if they aren't answered has helped a lot. I am very reclusive and I don't have a lot of friends by any means but just to think that something bigger out there is watching over me and listening to the things that are in my heart is a much better solice than having nothing to look foward to.

So, I understand that anger and sadness that you write about. I think that it's great to get that aggression out on paper or by typing it out. It's a definite way to release those feelings.

[little lily Bride of Ch..]

nice work but i can say life is never easy even if we don't ask for the things we go though it always Makes us strong no matter how much it hurts and if one prays to God they must believe in him Have faith and also trust in him and never rush any thing no matter how much pain and crap i went though i would still believe in God and have hope in him and Believed i was strong and i never gave up my mother taught me that her Father sexually abused her at 5 and 6 yrs. old and the Strength Never being afraid of any thing she taught us but i found happiness in many things even when i didn't have any one writing music and my friends is what helped me hang in there i Hide my Pain qiut well isn't any thing i can do to say that life won't be full of pain cause it can be but if we look past that and try to look at from a postive out look no matter how hard it is it does help a little and from growing up i am learning to heal from the pains of life i lost my dad to drinking he's alive but the real man he was is dead he beat my mom i would hear it when i slept i was 6 or 8 yrs.old but the pain i went though it helped me understand so much in my life i understand my why my father is where he's at wasn't his falt i pray for him every day and some pain we don't for get but we still keep on healing every day when it's the heart that can be the hardest to heal so even though i love my dad but in the years of my life i have always looked to God as a dad and my grandpa was like one but he's no longer alive but that place there has been empty cause i was a daddies girl Your story made me cry life can be a challange to walk but don't Give up it has so much instore thank you for sharing No one's life is easy no matter what is thrown at us that we indure But thats not Gods Falt i hope you have found peace in time of your life So many would make fun of me and some much like you but i never approched it like that i hide it from others but when we grow up the pain gets easyer to over come and for give and i do know even bullies feel pain i learn that along my path in life some that hurt they make fun to hide it and some are just very shy so many deal with it differnetly. And you have A very strong spirit Strong will never give up so much Character don't ever lose that Hold Your head High Be Proud to be who you're Much blessings to you my Friend god bless take care

[Liza]

i usually dont enjoy profanity but you did this smoothly
i felt the passion in your anger
and it was a rebel without a cause
this write made me pause
it made me realize the inner beast we unleash when our sense of security begins to fade

[Molafvt]

I thought I had a bad life until I read this compelling and emotional summary of yours. Holy s**t dude. That you've even come this far, with your head still attached, or haven't tossed yourself into one of life's gutters for miserably discarded Souls, is a miracle in it's self. By "miracle", I mean the odds of your pursuing a creative goal with this type of passion is almost nil, considering where you came from and what you have to deal with on a daily basis.
This story shows an incredible strength of character. It is honest and straight from the heart. It reads, I assume like you speak in person and is another reason I like it. You are fortunate to have your Mom. I wish I could tell you what to do about your Dad. My question to you though, is what are you going to do about you? You are obviously a survivor,Creative by nature and relatively intelligent. There must be other options. Anyway, regarding your writing. I love your honesty and the strength and determination that I hear in your writing, now take a deep breath, slow down a little, give your words some room to breath, fix your typos, poor grammar and awkward sentence structure and keep on writing. Somehow, by the good graces of your Mom, you have a roof over your head and food in your mouth. maybe you and your Mom should plan a secret getaway from your Dad and leave him in his own gutter. I know, it's easier said than done, but you getting a job and being able to augment your Moms income could help you both eventually break away from your Dad's depressive and useless influence. Just don't you loose yourself in the chaos. I don't know about there being a "God" or not, but I do know there is a lot more to "all of this" than meets the naked eye. There IS magic out there and obviously in you as well, so keep shooting for the Stars dude. Do what you have to do to be you and whatever you do keep writing.