Another one

Another one

A Poem by ShaneBerry
"

workout poem

"

I pump,

And lift the iron up

Pain in my arms like no other.

My muscles tear

My body wears

Sweat pours

I let out a roar

I shout as I lift

Pumping my fist

Another one!

My heartbeat runs

I burn like the sun!

Another one!

© 2010 ShaneBerry


Author's Note

ShaneBerry
i say this while i am working out to force me to continue

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Reviews

This is great and I'm not exactly an exerciser. I love it though!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Good one. Anyone that really lifts can feel this.

Posted 14 Years Ago


This is actually really simple but really good... I like the fact you repeat the word another one, showing how much you're forcing yourself to get to a non-existant (as it seems) target... The descriptions you use are very informative and show the main emotion and feeling which is pain... the way you've seperated it makes the poem have more of a beat meaning we go along with it even more, which kind of makes us feel what you're feeling whenever you do these work outs... well done... :) ♥ x.

Posted 14 Years Ago


WELL! very inspiring! im going to try it! : )

Posted 14 Years Ago


I agree with Ashley, its like a chant and i lke it. Like the persons chanting MORE MORE MORE! Like its vital, the very essence of their life. Very nice.

Posted 14 Years Ago


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r
no problem, lol

Posted 14 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

cheezit, lol thnks for sayin that my sis said the same thing averia did lol, muscles tear and heal over night after excersize, that is why it burns

Posted 14 Years Ago


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r
Awesome, motivational, i like the "i burn like the sun" line.

Oh, and to Averia down there, your muscles actually tear to grow. The cells tear so they can actually grow bigger. So, Shaneberry, you're actually right on that. :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Interesting, but I think if your muscles were tearing you'd need to go to a hospital xD Maybe change that line? Otherwise, nice work :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


Very nice...sets a pace of concentration... the imagery made my muscles burn!

Excellent write- keep 'em coming ;)

Posted 14 Years Ago



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811 Views
30 Reviews
Rating
Added on August 14, 2010
Last Updated on August 14, 2010

Author

ShaneBerry
ShaneBerry

denton, TX



About
My Chemical Romance “The Ghost of You” Name: Shane Douglas Berry Age: Born on 8/4/1992 Hair color: Brown Eye color: Green Skin color: White, Freckled Tattoos: Oroborus (red, center.. more..

Writing
Original Original

A Poem by ShaneBerry



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