Dao

Dao

A Story by ShaneBerry
"

Abattle is fought, Blood is spilt,

"
DAO
I dropped to he ground as the blade swept passed my head, sweat poured down my face as I stared into the Blue eyes of my once best friend. His red Sabre blade glistened in the fire illuminated  dark night.as  I charged at him, and with a swing of my blade, they met with a loud thunderous wave or anger, pain, and passion.
I then jumped back, not a word was spoken by the onlookers, other Blayders who had shown up to watch me be captured. After all my struggle, they had tracked me down to this secluded island, even if I beat him, I would be taken down by the others.
 His metal gauntlets gleamed in the firelight, and his black coat blew in the wind.
I again charged at him, as he did the same guarding maneuver I  turned about face, and flipped backwards over him as I landed and he turned, I pierced his chest with my Dao blade.

he collapsed to the ground.



SABRE

I swung my blade at his face, although he was once my best friend, he had betrayed the order, and for that I could not forgive him.He fell to the ground in his famous acrobat dodge maneuver. His Chinese Dao Blade's silver tone reflected the flickering bonfire brilliantly, almost like a mirror.
He quickly struck out at me, as I stuck back the blades met with a tremendous burst of power, control, and expertise. I stood there awaiting his next move, like it was a game of  computer chess.I found were the king was hiding and he was the final piece, it was now check mate.
His steel toe boots shifted in the sand, and his long tattered overcoat moved as the wind passed by.
He then, again charged at me. As I raised my Crimson red sabre to guard against attack, he flew over me and landed directly behind me.
I quickly turned to strike, as i did i felt his blade slide through my heart...

and he walked away, as my men stood there....

© 2010 ShaneBerry


Author's Note

ShaneBerry
a two part story from two different p.o.v's this is new for me but tell me how i did, this might go somewhere lol!

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Reviews

I like the feel of the battle. The story of both events were strong. The story was strong. A interesting tale in your words. Thank you. I need more description and purpose.
Coyote

Posted 14 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

An attack scene that holds vivid tension hon!
Really well expressed :)
It should go somewhere, think it would be great xx

Posted 14 Years Ago


Wow, this is amazingg. like this

Posted 14 Years Ago


This is Epic and yes it should go somewhere. However, there are some slight grammatical issues that happen when one writes for the purposes of writing and not to be grammatically accurate, this is an incredible piece.

I dropped to (t)he

Cap As in as I charged...

I found were should be where in I found where the king was...
and cap as i did i felt so its as I did I felt.

However this is really talented stuff.

Posted 14 Years Ago



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719 Views
14 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on July 29, 2010
Last Updated on July 29, 2010
Tags: fight, war, choas, battle, martial arts, ninja, bar fight, shane berry

Author

ShaneBerry
ShaneBerry

denton, TX



About
My Chemical Romance “The Ghost of You” Name: Shane Douglas Berry Age: Born on 8/4/1992 Hair color: Brown Eye color: Green Skin color: White, Freckled Tattoos: Oroborus (red, center.. more..

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