amour de péché

this one is my renditiion of what frollo is feeling when he realizes he wants esmerelda lol

amour de péché

le feu de désir

l'amour de la haine

le bûcher funéraire de sorcières 

l'incendie dans la ville

l'amour de ce feu

est rempli de ma pitié

je suis juré avec le désir

mon amour pour ce péché

ce désir d'incendie

est brûlé légèrement dans ma peau

translation-

love of sin

the fire of desire

the love of the hatred

the witches pyre 

burning in the city

the love of this fire

is filled with my pity

im cursed with desire

my love for this sin

this burning desire

is singed into my skin

Author's Note

i tryd my best to make it rhyme in french, but i know few words in french lol

Reviews

[Legion]

I like the way it reads in both French and English. Nicely done. I would suggest something different in the last line though. Its meter is off a bit with the rest of it. Perhaps "Scathes my skin" instead or something to that measure. Overall, I like it very much. Kudos.

[Ruth]

The elements infused within this are cleverly executed!
A great poem, clever!
xx

[The Lone Wolf Prose]

I took french a long time ago so I was able to read the first version somewhat :) I would have to say the one thing that you might want to look over is in the meter of some of the lines. It can be a little bumpy. I enjoyed this piece though. The imagery of the fire and the passion are very nice and it was a treat to read in both french and english.
Keep up the great writes. Look forward to reading more!

~LW

[Stammers]

I like the title best of all 'love of sin' - you could do so much with that.

I like that you've tackled poetry in another language, just not something I'd feel comfortable handling, so kudos. Some good choice of words, nice piece, the thought and approach has a lot of potential.

[Tali Katzman]

I can't real french like 99% of the people who have read this :P

But I really like it,it's strong and filled with emotions.

good job :)

[Ryan Falzon - Tymon]

I can't read correct in french, so I can't tell the rhymes, but the english version has flawless rhyme. The love of our sins is a great concept, and is displayed with wonderful imagery!

[lindalou]

I don't know french, but I like the strong words and the way you have crafted them. Very good write.

[miSS LEaf]

'im jure avec desir'........... im?
i gotta say i like the French version better, though i wouldn't understand it without the English one ;) nice poem ~L

[Arctic Fox]

still the concept is amazing