amour de péché

this one is my renditiion of what frollo is feeling when he realizes he wants esmerelda lol

amour de péché

le feu de désir

l'amour de la haine

le bûcher funéraire de sorcières 

l'incendie dans la ville

l'amour de ce feu

est rempli de ma pitié

je suis juré avec le désir

mon amour pour ce péché

ce désir d'incendie

est brûlé légèrement dans ma peau

translation-

love of sin

the fire of desire

the love of the hatred

the witches pyre 

burning in the city

the love of this fire

is filled with my pity

im cursed with desire

my love for this sin

this burning desire

is singed into my skin

Author's Note

i tryd my best to make it rhyme in french, but i know few words in french lol

Reviews

[Legion]

I like the way it reads in both French and English. Nicely done. I would suggest something different in the last line though. Its meter is off a bit with the rest of it. Perhaps "Scathes my skin" instead or something to that measure. Overall, I like it very much. Kudos.

[Rick Puetter]

Dear ShaneBerry,

The Hunchback of Notre Dame is a powerful piece on which to base a poem, and Frollo's lust for Esmerelda is a particularly nice choice. Because you are not a native speaker of French, it is hard to make the French version rhyme. In any case, I wouldn't have had the French version as the first version of the poem, your English version is so nice.

A very nice write!

Very best regards,

Rick

[Dream Weaver]

Nicely done, refreshing. But I do believe the translation from
french to english is a little off. This is my understanding in english..

(the desire fire the love of hate to work it funerary
witches the fire in the city the love of this fire is
filled with my pity I am sworn with the desire my
love for this sin this desire of fire is burned lightly in
my skin)...

I could be wrong though, Nice write what
ever the translation is.

[KatiePie]

I don't know any french, oh no wait that's not true, I can sing comme des enfants by coeur de pirate in french but that's it, and I hardly know what it's saying. But anyways, back to reviewing, I loved this piece, by far the best of your work I've read, really, it's so powerful. great write! ^_^
-Cathrine

[Shay33]

Well, I don't know much French (when I first read the title I thought it read "Love of Peach"), but the English version was nice. :)
I liked the rhyming, and the emotion. Nicely done.

[Randy`s Princess]

I like the way you covered both language barriers and it sounds sweeter in french lol nice write

[TTBoy28]

Passion! Even in French it is awesome!

[Gomer LePoet]

That would be a hard trick to rhyme in French. French is such a beautiful, poetic language. The language of love for sure, and you have spelled it out in any language. I wish I knew French, or a French Maid ooh la la.

[The Uncommon Muse]

I quite enjoyed the english rhyme...very vividly done.

[snapjack]

le bûcher funéraire de sorcières, i think it's supposed to be funeaire de sorcieres le bucher, but I'm not sure. Regardless, it was good!

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

seems you know quite a few French words lol
I enjoyed the English rhyme very much .. good write.

Chloe