Time

The Criminal Of Time

Time

The shimmer and shine,

Will Cripple the Prime.

With discovery, and truth sublime.

A  Smooth Criminal,

Murder, his Crime.

The criminal is Time.

Author's Note

it is poetry, so idk if grammar realty matters as much lol, im working on it though!! :)

Reviews

[Onyx_Rayne]

I found nothing wrong with the grammar... This was an amazing write.

Packed with wisdom and truth... Time does feel like a criminal, because it steals so much from... everyone.

The poem has an amazing flow to it and it was a great read.

Excellent work :)

[Dr.Who.LOVER]

Love it! It was really good

[Luna Northstar]

Short but powerful... amazing piece. Nice job.

[NinjaPi]

smooth very smooth. nice write.

[alesuriko]

Nope, grammar doesn't matter that much in poetry and the grammar isn't bad in this poem either. The comma on the third line wouldn't be there in a strictly grammatical sense, but in this poem it helps set the flow and is a great position for it to be in. This was a good poem. I liked the first three lines a lot, perfect rhythm, great imagery that made me smile in a very agreeing way. Although I didn't much care for the criminal repetition in the last three lines, and all I could think of with the fourth line was Michael Jackson so that threw everything off for me. But that's simply my personal opinion. Time does murder, however, I'll agree to that.

[Ruth]

I like the idea of time being the criminal here, a clever piece again!
xx

[Dutch Jr.]

The portrayal of Time as a Criminal is an original idea, never heard that one before. Great work.

[deeps]

Wonderfully said here.

[The Uncommon Muse]

good start, concise, to the point, but with great choices of words and phrasing. I do agree could use a bit of continued work, but great start

[TTBoy28]

Simple. To the point!