comet tail

a poem about a dream i had for fifteen nights.

Comet Tail: Part I

              by:Shane berry

her black eye was swollen,

my heart was racing like i was awake.

i knew it was a nightmare, but i called it a dream.

cuts and guns, knifes and bruises.

life and death, love and hate.

he shouted, i fought.

she screamed, i defended.

he was faster than i had ever seen anyone strike.

i was hitting him dead on.

he pulled out the metal gun.

my breath is taken, my stomach sinks.

blood shoots out of my back.

i fall to my knees,

there is no emotion in my face.

he begins to walk, i stand, blood, 

blood, is everywhere.

i leap.

he aims, 

i grab,

he shoots

i smile.

he missed.

i turn the gun to his face with a laugh i end his life.

by his hand.

i drop to the floor, 

she runs to my side.

Alexa

she stares into me, like i'm a door.

the blood is red

crimson

violent.

love.

Author's Note

all i can do to try to understand the dream is turn it into a poem. how is it?

Reviews

[The Lone Wolf Prose]

Wow...such motion in this work. Volatile and dark...Very powerful write

LW

[Senseless whatever]

Good write. Chivalry is not dead. Fighting for love at the greatest cost.

[.]

wow love it...the visuals you create are vivid! loved the one lines in the middle, gives it added tension. great poem

[Anthony M Smith Jr]

Nice visual's and creates a fast paced scene of hand to hand combat. In the end he ends up the winner and the injured lady. Nice poem!
Life and Light!
TT-TTO-NI-K
Elk

[Ruth]

I love it! Dreams are great to exorcise! lol
Excellent flow to this, sounds an intense dream love! The dream seems indicative of someone aiming to take control of a situation, trying to be heard, not invisible!
Awesome
xx

[Angelphires]

Very intense! I loved it!

[Nina Kari]

you really painted a picture here. i like this one. vivid emotions.

[Desert Dreamer]

Repetitive dreams often have important meanings. To me, you dreams has a message telling you to fight for something you love, something very important. Your poem is very well written and I enjoyed reading it.

[Inci]

dream is surely very violent but the poem is as beautiful .

[Cassiopia Summers]

This dream is frightening, but the poem is amazing. You did a great job with this.